shades of yellow » han seojun ff

46. dandelion

AFTER SEARCHING ALL OVER the school, Seojun finally found her standing by the edge of the rooftop.  He blew a sigh of relief and texted Suho to let him know. But his heart stopped when he saw how close she was to the edge, as the wind ruffled her uneven hair.

He remembered what she had said to him just before she ran away. I can't do this anymore.

He cautiously made his way to her, then softly called out, "Yeonwoo?"

She didn't respond.

When he was directly behind her, he tried again. "Yeonwoo? It's me, Seojun. Are you okay?"

Still facing away, she said quietly, "Not really. It's our birthday, did you remember?"

"Of course I remembered."

Finally, she turned around to face Seojun. She looked exhausted, but she was smiling. "Don't be too mad at Hyunkyu. He meant well."

"But he made you upset!"

"It's me. It's all me. It's not normal for someone to be this upset on their birthday."

Seojun began hesitantly, "Have you ever seen someone for it? Someone ... professional," "Because you need help, Yeonwoo. I'm scared, and I'm worried for you. There's only so much that a teenage boy can do," he finished, voice cracking.

"No."

"Why not?"

"They'll force me to forget Seyeon."

"No, they won't!" Seojun took an automatic step forward to hug her, but she stepped backwards, teetering ever so closer to the edge. His breath caught in his throat, as he choked out, "Yeonwoo, don't do it—"

"Why shouldn't I?" Yeonwoo said tearfully. "Seyeon's gone. My nightmares, they're not stopping! I'm forced to relive every single horrible memory every night! They're getting worse, and I don't think I can take it anymore!"

"You're stronger than this, Yeonwoo!"

"Why have you been avoiding me, Han Seojun?" Her voice was eerily calm. "You're scared of me doing something?"

"You already have! To yourself." His voice broke.

"YEONWOO!" The door to the rooftop banged open. Suho, Sujin, and Jugyeong burst onto the roof, but it was Jugyeong's terrified, high-pitched scream that rang out across the rooftop. 

Jugyeong ran ahead of them towards Seojun and Yeonwoo. "Yeonwoo, no, don't!" She cried out. But she suddenly slipped in her shoes and fell forwards, falling on her elbows and knees on the hard concrete.

Suho gasped. "Jugyeong!" He was about to run forwards to help her, but it was Yeonwoo who did so. She ran from the edge of the rooftop and towards Jugyeong, whose face was streaked with tears and dust.

"Jugyeong, are you alright?" Yeonwoo checked the girl, wincing at her dusty elbows and torn-up, bloody socks at the kneecap . "Oh, don't cry, Jugyeong."

"I'm not crying because of this!" Jugyeong wailed. "I'm crying because I thought—I thought you were going to—"

"I'm not going anywhere, Jugyeong-ah," she said.

And that was all it took.

—

Seojun decided to take Yeonwoo home on his motorcycle straight after that. "Cutting class?" she said jokingly, as she placed the helmet on her head.

Seojun did not even crack a smile. "I'm serious, Yeonwoo. Don't ever scare us like that again."

Frustrated, Yeonwoo ran a hand through her choppy hair. "I'm sorry. I was desperate, I had no idea what had gotten into me."

"You're sad, alright? And you need to talk to someone who can help you get through it."

"Just drop it, Seojun."

"But—"

"Drop it!" She snapped. Then, she sighed. "Just take me home."

Her parents were out. Her father was at his job at the bank, and her mother was presumably out grocery shopping.

As he helped her off his motorcycle, she asked him, "Are you going back to school?"

"Nah. I'm already cutting the first two periods, what's the difference in cutting the whole day?"

"Do you want to stay with me?" She shrugged casually. "It's my birthday."

She was right. It was her birthday. Seojun immediately regretting pressuring Yeonwoo about doing something she obviously wasn't ready for, on today of all days. 

"Sure!" He grinned like an overactive puppy and slung an arm around her shoulder. "What movies have you got?"

"I was thinking Kong: Skull Island, if you're up for it." She said cheekily, as they walked in.

"Are you sure not a nice, funny rom-com?"

"Nah, I'm sure."

"Maybe while we do that, I can even out your hair a little bit?" He gingerly played with the ends of Yeonwoo's hacked up hair.

She archly raised an eyebrow. "You know how to cut hair?"

"Why did you do this to yourself?" he whispered, voice flickering with pain. He cupped one of her cheeks. "Don't ever scare me like that again, can you do that for me?"

And she whispered, "I can't make any promises," before turning away and heading into the cool interior of her home, leaving him following one step behind her.

—

a/n: I am very much aware that Yeonwoo, my poor bb, needs therapy. rest assure that she will receive it in due time, she just needs a lil bit of time to admit this to herself. 

pls tell me if anything is inaccurate at depicting mental health!!