My Life Of Evasion

22. You Can Never Truly Mend A Broke Heart

Chapter 22

You Can Never Truly Mend A Broke Heart

They never found him. 

Him or the car.

Vince was already gone by the time Ben pulled me up to the surface of the river.  They were searching for him, though.  Every policeman who wasn’t here now was patrolling the entire city of Florence. 

But me?  I was sitting on the side of the street, right in the spot where we went over.  The car had plowed through the stone guard, making it look like it had been blown up.  The stone from the railing littered the area, though most of it went over with us when we went into the water. 

Ben was sitting beside me, his arm around my shoulders as I laid my head on his.  He hadn’t said a word since he came over to me a half an hour before and draped the thick blanket around my shoulders after the paramedics checked me out and taped up the one cut that I had on my forhead.  He knew that I didn’t want to speak, not that I would have been able to anyway. 

Drew was talking with the police a few feet away.  They were talking about the search boats in the water and what their next move was going to be.  But I could feel it.  I could feel that there was no use in looking anymore.  It was no use.

Max was gone from me.

And there was nothing else that they could do. 

Nothing else I could do but wait there, look out at the water, and pray that there was some way that he could still be alive. 

The strangest thing was, I couldn’t cry.  I couldn’t cry and scream and shout out at the world for taking him from me.  It was like I didn’t have anything left in me, like I couldn’t even if I tried.  No matter how much anger, hurt, and sadness that was finding its way into every cell in my being, I couldn’t bring myself to it. 

“You okay, Callie?” Ben asked.  I could feel his head turn when he looked down at me. 

I just nodded on his shoulder, still not finding any energy to speak.

Ben and Drew had kept their promise that I’d made them make.  Earlier, I asked them to follow us to the gala and everywhere else we might have had to go.  They had been following us whenever Vince crashed into our car.  Ben was the first one to get out, so he’d been the one to get me out. 

Someone was walking toward us then and my eyes only focused on Drew when he knelt down in front of us.  There was a defeated look on his face, one that I knew was about.

“Still nothing?” Ben asked him, speaking for me.

Drew sighed, shaking his head.  “No, nothing.  They’re going to keep searching, though.  They’ll probably call it off for tonight and then pick up tomorrow morning,” he explained.  “But we’re going to go back to the hotel.  I called your dad, Callie, and he’s already heard about what happened.”

“But I don’t want to go back,” I whispered.  My voice was hoarse and I didn’t sound like myself.  “I don’t want to go anywhere until they find him.”

Drew reached out and grabbed my hand, squeezing it slightly.  “They’re stopping the search for the night, Callie.  They…”

“They can’t, though.  He…”

“We’ll come back in the morning, okay?” he said, cutting me off.  “We won’t let them stop until they find something, anything.”

“Promise?”

He nodded.  “I promise.” 

I let the two of them helped me up and walked me to their car that was parked on the curb a few feet away.  I expected them both to get in the front after helping me into the back, but Ben stayed with me, sitting with me exactly like we had on the curb.  Maybe he knew that I needed someone to hold onto at that moment. 

Surprisingly, it was a quick drive; our hotel was only a few blocks away.  It didn’t even register to me when we walked inside and got into the elevator until we were walking down the hallway toward our room. 

The door opened just when we were about to reach it and Dad was standing there.  Brielle and Sophie were just walking up behind him as we stepped inside. 

“Callie…” Dad started. 

But the only thing I did was give him a quick hug and then bypassed all of them.  “I’m going to bed,” I said.  My voice still sounded strange in my ears. 

The only thing I was looking at was the door leading into my room.  And once I got inside, I didn’t even look back at their faces before I closed the door.

But once I flicked on the light, I didn’t even think I could be in there.

Because Max was everywhere.  His suitcase was open at the foot of the bed since he’d been looking for something in it before we left.  His t-shirt and jeans that he’d been wearing before he changed into his suit was flung across the bed. 

I picked up his t-shirt that had been lying on the bed and changed into it before crawling into the bed.  I moved so that my face was pressed against the pillow that he’d used.  That, combined with wearing his shirt, made it seem like he was right there with me.

Only he wasn’t.

And realizing that…that was when I lost it. 

It was like everything I’d held inside before was coming out now.  I couldn’t help it.  It was like seeing his stuff, knowing that he wasn’t going to come back for it, opened the floodgates.  My tears were falling down my cheeks and onto the pillow.  I buried my head into it, sobbing. 

I didn’t hear when my door opened, but the bed dipped beside me and then I could hear Dad’s voice.

“Callie, sweetie,” he said. 

I moved so that my head was pillowed against his chest, my tears now staining his shirt.  But I wanted to hold onto him and I did.  I held onto him like I didn’t have anything else to. 

Because I didn’t.  Not anymore. 

“Everything’s going to be okay,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. 

“No, it’s not,” I said, my tears still flowing.  “It’s never going to be the same.  He’s gone, Daddy.  He’s never coming back.”

He couldn’t argue with me there and he wasn’t even going to try.  He just sat there, his back against the headboard, and let me cry. 

And when my sobs stopped, yet my tears still continued to steam down my face, he was still there.  I knew he would stay there, too, even probably after I fell asleep.

“They’re going to keep looking for him,” he said.  “Drew told us what the police had said to him and they’re not going to give up until they find something.  But Callie…it’s not looking good, especially after this long.”

“I know,” I said thickly.  “I know they won’t be able to do anything once they find him.”

“You’ll get through this, Callie,” he said, kissing the top of my head again.  “You still have all of us.”

I nodded as I looked up at him, my tear tracks probably still visible on my cheeks.  “Will you stay with me?” I asked.

He nodded and took my hand, holding it tightly in his.  “I will always be here for you.”

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