JUVENILE | kim sunwoo ✔︎

CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR

SUNWOO POV

"So is she your girlfriend now?" Juyeon asked walking up beside me, his jacket clicking in swift metallic clinks.
"Not yet." I replied shortly, looking over to her as her and Ashley laughed over something ridiculous in the distance.
"Not even after last night?" He glanced with obvious confusion, a hint of sarcasm dripping from his words as the gap between his two lips widened when he grinned.
"So you know?" I chuckled out proudly, a snicker leaving my lips in an arrogant hiss.
"I mean if she could walk in a str-" He inferred before I cut him off with a punch to the shoulder - not wanting the others to overhear.

"Why's it a secret? You should be proud of that." Sangyeon now joined the conversation from behind us causing me to groan in annoyance.
"Yeah I am. But I don't want everyone knowing because I highly doubt she does and all anyone would do is make fun of her." I replied with a quick snap, the two backing up slightly in apprehension.
"Yeah that's the point." Juyeon smiled with a toothy grin, glancing to Sangyeon by my other side who merely agreed.
"No it's not the fucking point, what I'm saying is men can go around bragging about getting laid and they get all the street cred for it. Women get shamed and made hella' fun of for it. I'm not being apart of that, it's a dick move." I rolled my eyes, continuing to breeze past the museum displays without any attention being paid to them.
"Awh he's a feminist, isn't he cute?" Juyeon smiled attempting to pinch my right cheek as I swatted him away irritably.
"Yeah, I'm fucking adorable and I still get more women than you for it. Back the hell up before I throw hands." I warned him, stunned from the comment he stopped in his tracks briefly - Sangyeon cackling at the situation and patting Juyeon on the back of the shoulder sympathetically.

Headache, the stinging pains in my skull faintly crawled across my head in jarring thuds - I've only had 1 cigarette, I'm usually on at least number 7 by now. I rubbed my temples tiredly, Eric bounding up beside me eccentrically - stamping his feet down and nudging me softly.
"Are you okay? Do you need a smoke?" He asked casually pulling his silver cigarette tin out from his back pocket.
"Nah, I'm good." I replied watching his face twist in puzzlement, the wrinkles between his brows prominent.
"Are you quitting?" He further asked, watching as my hands shook in a withdrawing tremor.
"I might try. But I don't know yet." I replied flickering between the floor and him and pulling the cuffs of my jacket between my hands.
"I'll be outside if you wanna come." He nodded, strolling away from the group to the exit of the building - Hyunjae following him out soon afterwards, slipping his lighter out.

Catching up to Y/N, I picked up my pace to a light jog to reach her side. Turning to me with a little smile, she soon flashed a look of concern when she noticed my hands - shaking frantically from the sudden wave of withdrawal.
"Are you feeling okay? Do you need some adderall? Are you sick?" She asked in concern as I winced, my head aching calamitously as she worried.
"Nah I'm fine, I'm just trying to lay off the cigarettes." I blew out a shaky breath, my frame jolting up and down frantically.
"Why?" She questioned me, still worried as we stepped away from the rest of the group to talk between ourselves by one of the animal bone displays.
"You don't like it when I smoke." I replied in a genuine somber, awaiting her answer of agreement. Grabbing my hands and lacing them for a brief moment, she smiled blissfully - tracing over my thumbs to help stop them from quaking so anxiously.
"Yeah, but I'd rather you be calm, well and smoking than anxiety ridden and withdrawn. Don't push yourself to quit too quickly, you'll only relapse. I actually don't mind you smoking, I just don't want anything bad to come from it. Go smoke, you clearly need it." She giggled lightly, her speech resonating with me for a few moments before I could compose a reply. Tugging at our hands playfully, I beamed back at her with a sweet chuckle.
"I'll try my best to stop though." I replied with a skip before turning around and letting her waddle back to the group.

Flicking open my lighter, I placed a cigarette between my lips with my tremulous hands. It was raining, sheltering myself beneath the stone pillar roofs outside. Manically my jaw jittered in an annoying rhythm, clashing my teeth together in chaotic and shivering jolts. Upon the relief of nicotine, I inhaled the smoke with a relaxed sigh - leaning back against the pillar behind me.

"Mr. Kim?" A familiar voice interrupted my smoke break, causing me to whip my head around in inconvenience. It was Professor Smith, her khaki waterproof jacket drenched through with the rain that fell around the museum presently. I didn't reply, allowing her to stand in my presence and say what she had to.
"You're with Y/N aren't you?" She implied looking up beside me through her glass lenses - tinted a light lemon shade from age.
"What do you mean?" I replied awkwardly, cooly blowing the smoke out of my air canals.
"As in is she your girlfriend?" She furthered the point, noticing I was just suspicious to why she was asking.
"No, why?" I answered with unruly sarcasm, lacing my words with a defensive spit as they fell from my mouth shortly.
"It's just..." She began with a sigh leaning beside me to begin, "Y/N is a good student, she has a bright future, big plans, she used to study heavily, she's never broke any rules or been in trouble before." She explained cryptically causing me to cock a brow in wonder of where this speech was going, "You Sunwoo, threw away your college dreams the minute you got here. You do hardcore drugs, you don't study, you've been in prison and from what I know, you don't have any career plans for after college."
I nodded knowingly, as she began stating the mere obvious between us both.

"Okay? And?" I blew out the rest of my smoke as she complained - wafting it away in thick coughs, adjusting her glasses lenses to her scrawny face.
"The point is, Y/N is naive, she's too good, mixing with someone like you could spoil her future. I don't want to come between anything but Sunwoo, you can take advantage of her without even realizing. Watch her grades sink and her-" She began to completely drag me through the dirt, her finger tips running through her saturated locks stressfully.
"Listen, I understand you're trying to protect her. At the end of the day it's up to her, if she wants to leave me for her career, with a tear in my heart I'd let her go. However if she wants to be with me, I'm welcoming that with open arms. I'm not the burnout you all keep saying I am. I do have career plans, whether that's new because of her.. I don't know. Point is, you're wasting your time on damaging my ego and I'm done with this conversation." I frustratingly crushed my cigarette on to the wall behind and left Professor Smith stood in her own thoughts.

Harshly lashing against the glass ceiling, the rain fell heavier, coating the rural area outside in a layer of frost and bitter breezes. Inside the museum, the group had moved through rather quickly - now sitting in the small café barricaded by it's spindled gate wrapping around the outside. Sitting myself in the empty space beside Y/N the others talked tirelessly - laughing to themselves and poking comments at each other.
"You okay?" Smiling when she saw me, she asked just above a whisper with a soft hush.
"Yeah, I'm good now." I simpered lowly, running my hand down to her thigh protectively as the others talked to her. Placing her hand over my own, she played with it in tiny taps - pulling each finger back slightly and tracing over them busily. Apart of me wanted to laugh at the subconscious actions of the girl, but my heart couldn't help but flutter at the way she giggled endearingly.

Another part of me wondered was she too good for me? Was professor Smith right all along? Doubting my worth in heaps, I took my hand away from her skin sadly. Shocked when she snatched it back, but smirking to myself as she placed it back where it was. I sank my fingers into her skin teasingly. Why would she be right? Is anyone truly too good for someone?

——

AUTHORS NOTE

hi ! so sunwoo's having some self conflict poor bby :( also juyeon aha ha ha agenda popped out.. oops..

someone tell professor smith to go home thank u <\3..

as monday rolls back around, I hope your week this time is better than the last.. manifesting your success and i genuinely hope you get some lovely messages this week.. ♡︎

sending my love always..

clover <3