𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐘 𝐏𝐄𝐎𝐏𝐋𝐄 ✰ v. hacker

forty-first ❀ irl

| MAISY |

note to self: i do indeed hate parties. even though maddy refused to listen to me, i do hate them.

as soon as we arrived, maddy became a social butterfly and ran to grab one of the drinks and say hi to the kid from her history class. the music was blaring and the lights were flashing enough to make anyone pass out. some kids already were passed out on the couch. i rolled my eyes as i passed them...wasted, already? it was only 9pm.

but it wasn't like i did anything more useful with my time. i just hung around in the corner and people-watched. it was very entertaining....10/10 recommend.

maddy tried several times to get me to come dance with her, but my social anxiety and general distaste for the people at this party made it hard for me to enjoy myself, so i just hyped her up from the sidelines.

some girl tried to come up and talk to me, saying how she started watching my show and i was so good in it. we been knew. KIDDING, OF COURSE. i smiled graciously and engaged with her for a few moments, and then pretended i was going to go get a drink from the kitchen. really, i was just bored of the conversation and hated any talk about my work life when it happened within school circles.

i passed some couple making out in the hallway and ignored their obscene noises as i finally got into the kitchen.

and there he was.

vinnie straightened up immediately as he saw me, his eyes widening. he was dressed nicely—he always had had good style, but tonight he was dressed extra fancily with a white button-up with the top buttons unbuttoned and some neatly ironed slacks—and i caught a whiff of his cologne as soon as i entered. his curls looked perfectly messy and i watched as his lips moved upwards into a smile when he saw me.

and holy crap, i swear i'm not kidding when i say he gave me the tiktok look, his eyes sweeping down my body in its little black dress and heels, before coming to stop on my face.

"oh, uh, hey." was all he said, but it came out more like seannooo's 'hey lol'

if i didn't know better, i'd say my heart fluttered within me.

but who am i kidding, independent is my middle name.

i caught ahold of myself, stepped outside of my body and slapped me right on the cheek. focus, bestie! thanks! it'll be easier for you if you stop getting distracted by his wickedly good looks and kissable lips and his freaking handsome smile and his hot outfit right now. yeah, bestie! i hope you don't fall!

i swallowed. "hi."

trying to make my voice sound disinterested and cold...didn't exactly work, so i tried acting my way out of this. i looked away with as annoyed a look as i could and pushed past him, grabbing a 7UP from the cooler and walking out.

"you don't want anything stronger?"

his voice caught me off guard. i wasn't really expecting him to keep talking after i'd done my best to brush him off. i turned around slowly, trying to think of something to say.

"i might," i attempted, "if you keep talking to me."

"come on, that's harsh." a hurt look settled on his face, and he bit his lip nervously. "aren't we gonna be able to talk?"

all the recollection of what he'd done came back to me.

"no." i stated firmly, and turned and walked away.

good job, babe, you did it!

except, i didn't turn around fast enough. i saw his face before i turned around...he looked hurt, like he was all alone and...he looked innocent.

what that meant, i had no idea. i was just trying to listen to the evidence i saw, which was that he was guilty. but everything i knew about him was telling me he was innocent, that he hadn't doxed me, and that he WOULDN'T. he wasn't like that. he'd only been a good friend since i'd known him. but i didn't know...who else could have done it? vinnie was the only reasonable explanation i had so far.

| VINNIE |

i hated myself.

i couldn't believe that i'd let jordan get in between my relationship with the girl i'd fallen in...like with and ruined the only true friend i'd ever had...someone who'd brought joy into my life when i felt like my hometown was a bleak hole of depression. someone who'd treated me like i was worth being treated well. someone who'd made me laugh when i'd given up all hope on life.

i hated myself for not being able to tell her what i knew. i hated myself for letting jordan gaslight me into staying silent and making ME take the brunt of HIS crappy actions.

i didn't know i'd begun to drink until jordan found me collapsed in a kitchen chair and shook me hard by the shoulders.

"holy heck, dude, how much have you drank?"

somehow, that was funny to me, and i laughed and hiccuped like a drunkard from a cartoon. "not much." i tried to gesture over to my right, but i knocked over several empty cans off the table in the process. "just trying to forget that i ever told you you were a good friend."

his expression turned sour and he immediately said something angrily to me before leaving. i didn't exactly catch it, but it wasn't anything nice or notable to remember.

it was another few minutes before anyone else came into my blurry vision and memory.

"oh my gosh, hey vinnie!"

even in my drunken stupor, i'd know that voice anywhere. "hey, emily." i tried to glare at her, but i'm not sure she got the memo, because she sat down next to me and looked me in the face.

"you're really drunk."

"well, aren't you a smart one!" even drunk vinnie was funny. i laughed at that one extra hard, and then burped and found that even funnier.

she gave me a bit of a disgusted look and then got me a bottle of water. "please drink this. it'll at least help your beer breath."

"no." i pushed it away. "that's plain water. gross."

emily opened the cap and poured some down my throat, against my arguments of protest. "what is going on with you? you're completely wasted."

maybe the water sobered me down or maybe i was just downright depressed, because my sadness hit me like a train and i started pouring out my soul to emily. yes, EMILY. the annoying clingy girl. i was really drunk, okay?

everything came out - my affections for maisy, how she hadn't been talking to me because she thought i'd printed out that stuff about her and put it all over school. then i talked about jordan and how he'd been a terrible friend and made me swear i'd never tell maisy. i even talked about my abandonment issues and how i couldn't stand to lose jordan so i wouldn't let myself lose our friendship, crappy and toxic as it was.

when i finished, i don't actually remember what happened. she said something that was nice to me, and then gave me more water and helped me lie down on another couch.

that's about all i remember from that evening.

❀

✍︎ ALLY'S NOTE

triple update...y'all doing okay?

also pls go back and read ch. 36 bc i posted it out of order on accident and it has like not v many reads now loll