Born Victim || 18+

♫ P R O L O G U E ♫

PSA : I am not telling you this story so that you may sympathize or take a liking to me, I am telling you this because our story needs to be told, regardless of your opinion. These are our tapes, our goodbye, all you need to do is press play.

-Coraline

I was born with an insatiable appetite for destruction.

One that consumed both me and everyone else around me as collateral damage. Weather I was in favour of it or not, I was a hurricane and I held no regard for anything or anyone who was courageous enough to get in my way. My mother always said that I was a destructive force of nature and I never knew what she meant until now.

Until for the first time ever someone dared to tame me.

When I was a girl my father would read stories to me all the time before I submerged into a peaceful slumber, he whispered tales of glass slippers, beauties who tamed beasts, and lost cities underwater. And as my head hit the pillow and the fireplace burned so furiously as though a chorus to his gentle voice, which I always thought sounded similar to bubbling sliver- sharp and endless. I slipped into a peaceful sleep, but I didn't dream of all those pretty things I knew he'd hoped I would, no matter how much I wanted to.

I never remembered my dreams, it was almost as though every time I shut my eyes a thief crept through my bedroom window; no one had seen him appear nor did anyone recall there ever being such a bandit- he simply manifested from the shadows and robbed me of the one thing a child should hold nearest and dear to their heart, their dreams.

I was born in the middle of the of the Garden Of Eden, only that I was not afraid of the serpent, if anything I lured it to me, grasped it by the neck and made it bow to me and only me. I spent most of my childhood traveling between my home in Zambia and my little escape of sorts in Fairbanks, Alaska. I'd spent most of my summers there all the time with my twin sister Annie and daddy. At first I hated the idea of mummy sending us half way across the world for the soul purpose of getting away from us, but I understood that at the time she needed her space more than anything, you can't have your eight year old daughters around when you're serving your husband of ten years divorce papers.

I liked to believe that mummy and daddy were like the earth and sun, destine to encounter and orbit around each other for all eternity, but if they were ever to collide once more it would bring about the destruction of all beautiful things. I like to believe that despite everything that happened that what matters was that even if Annie and I could not see it, that they had cared and loved each other at least once.

Up until this point my home in Lusaka, Zambia was the only thing I knew like the back of my hand; I knew the humid October summer's that Annie and I lay on the front porch and swatted away the mosquitoes that led us to beg mummy to buy a plastic pool for our backyard, I knew the excitement of picking out the orange, black, red and green chitenge materials that'd be sewn into dresses or robes by the local tailor every Independence Day. I knew the chilly July winters that we were off school and spent with papa and his new wife Isobel who always tried incredibly hard to appeal to me.

But I couldn't help that every time I looked at her I saw that in my fathers eyes, mummy, Annie and I were not enough to make him stay.

I was born a tiny dancer, bursting at the seams; adored by the crowd yet I danced for everyone but me.

Ever Since I knew how to open a book and use a pen I was always at the top of my class, if you knew anything about academics in my little town then you knew the names Coraline and Anastasia Nkole like looming reminder that you would never compare. Throughout high school I had a 4.0 GPA and Annie was a 3.9. I had never known what it felt like to be anything less than the standard. I'd like to place all the credit over my parents heads for my academic achievements but that would be a lie because if anything they were always the ones telling me to slow down and enjoy the ride.

If I was always a star then Annie always a meteor hurtling towards me at full speed.

It's not that she ever did so intentionally it's just that it's impossible to say no to her, she's charisma and the divine feminine personified. I admired that about her and I would never allow myself to be cruel enough to ever envy my other half but maybe just maybe I wanted for something to be just mine.

Not Annie and Coraline's just Coraline's but perhaps that was too much to ask for.

I forgot to tell you, as you will soon learn that I often do so.

I'm not a good person, don't ever mistake me for one, I do not yearn for your pity nor your understanding I just need you to listen because no one else ever did. These tapes are all that's left of the book of him and I.

This was where it all began you see, when he walked through the halls for the first time, heavy metal on my heart- he was a reckoning. This was where I finally started to dream, and it was within those dreams that I truly awakened and tasted all the sweet things that this life had to offer.

It was where I met him, the boy who egnited a fire within me that could not be extinguished. This is his story too. It was he who taught me how to burn so furiously that I would crave nothing but his flame. I despised him for it, I despised that by him I was doomed to lament in the ashes of who I was before him.

To the masses we were lethal, masters in the art of pretend but in each other's arms we melt.

AUTHORS NOTE

Hello and welcome to Born Victim, the story that's going to fuck with your head and you're going to love it. Thank you so much for reading as always, I can't wait to share their story with you, stay tuned and always remember to press play every Monday and Friday :)

Love,
Scarlet.