For the damned | ✓

23

i stated before that there's no need to read the wicked series for this, but i'll be making references to it in this chapter as it's mateo's pov! if you don't want to/haven't read wicked or kisses after midnight that's totally no problem, you can even skip this chapter💗 more of mateo's perspective and content will follow in the bonus chapters at the end of sinful, but for now this. i hope you enjoy, lovelies x

MATEO SPOKE GRIEF BETTER than his mother tongue. It was a sound like church bells in an abandoned town, a rusted door with a child's name on it swaying in the wind, a mother screaming without her daughter in her arms. A long time ago it had been him, choking on tears and filling his lungs with acid, unable to even do anything but want to disappear altogether. Gabriela however didn't do anything of that.

She had consoled their children, called his parents and gotten the affairs in order. And then, when she had finally lain down in her bed, she had cried silent tears, staring at the ceiling without any emotion on her face. The next day she had gotten up, put concealer on and helped their children process his loss again, none of her hurt visible on her face.

Even until the end, she always had been stronger than him.

Perhaps it was better that he was the one to go. After all, he couldn't have lived without her and their children did deserve someone better than a wreck. He could see how Sebastian was trying to grow up faster to help, how Ella build her walls around her heart. Most of all, he could see the way the city they had once loved destroyed Gabriela now, the way every corner was just another memory of him.

So she had packed her stuff and moved them towards another town, leaving everyone she knew behind. She hadn't told anyone other than their parents he had died and he didn't blame her, even with them it had seemed like the words alone were like gasoline pouring on the fire he had left behind. Just like that, she had changed her number, her address and their children's schools.

In a way it had felt like his children had grown up with him, like he had been by Gabriela's side as she had finally been rewarded for all her hard work. In a way, it had felt like he had been part of their lives. He knew that wasn't true though, because every time he got too caught up in that excitement and moved to touch her, to say something, to laugh, he froze in place, like someone had splashed ice cold water in his face again.

A wake up call, one he had had way too many times. He would have chosen to keep dreaming if possible, but even that chance was taken from him with his life. Now all he could do was watch as his children interacted with his best friends so closely he could almost shout at them in the hopes they would realize, but he didn't blame them for not being able to do so. After all, neither Chase nor Bas would have ever thought it possible for their children to meet without him immediately greeting them if he was closeby.

And he would have, if he could. He truly would have. Just like he knew they would have visited him, his grave cold and lonely a few cities away.

He stepped through the wall into Gabriela's house, his family sitting around the table as they spoke about their day. It was Saturday and Ella laughed about some party she had been to. She was close friends with Chase's son, but more importantly, Alina's. Levi. The name reminded him of her brother, his old best friend, who had always had the brightest smile until he had popped a pill too many.

Sebastian chuckled at the mention of their vice-principal, saying how he was no match for him. Mateo smiled as he passed by his son, thinking back to when he and Bas had fought on their first day, though he had been called Jay then. Time had passed so quickly it stung in his heart. He was not part of their lives anymore.

He couldn't look at the empty chair opposite Gabriela's for too long, instead stopping beside her. His hand floated above the chair as he leaned forward, smile widening as he looked at her. She was so beautiful, just like she always would be. His lips grazed against her cheek, not quite touching, and he breathed out.

"Until we meet again, Nena," he said softly, looking around at his children," goodbye."

When he stepped out of the door, the Reaper was waiting, Delilah by his side. He didn't know when he had retrieved Delilah nor how he had known his location, but he supposed it didn't matter. It was alright now.

"Anything you want to ask?" the Reaper said, his cloak swaying in the wind.

Mateo looked up at the dark night sky above, at the stars which had always shined bright no matter what had happened to him. He wondered if Levi was there. He wondered if he would meet Clarkson again.

"Is it scary?" he said, looking back at him," to truly pass on, I mean."

"I'll guide you," the Reaper said, stepping forward, his voice calm like a lullaby at dawn," it won't be, Mateo Martinez, I promise."

"Will I meet them again?" Mateo said once the Reaper reached him, voice hitching in his throat.

The Reaper looked through the windows in the house, gaze wandering over the three people inside.

"You will," he said.

"Then it's fine," he chuckled, amicably slapping him on the shoulder," but don't take them too soon, alright? Otherwise the threat of beating you up still stands."

"Mateo," Delilah said, her voice thick with unshed tears.

She swallowed, walking up to him but stopping right before she could hug him. In the years where he had been grieving she had been one of the only few things making him feel like everything was okay. It was normal with her, because someone could finally see him, could talk to him. Could pretend he was something more than a shell of a person. She truly had become a close friend to him.

"I'll miss you," she said, one tear sliding down her cheek then.

"You'll be fine, Delilah," he promised her, flashing her a bright grin," I expect you to visit one time, with you not being able to die and all."

"I will," she whispered, a watery smile breaking through.

"Any last words, Mateo Martinez?" the Reaper asked.

He stared at his calloused hands, at his house, at the man standing in front of him with a scythe. Last words. If Bas had been with him he would have scoffed.

"I wonder," he said," if I could do it all over again, would I still be standing here, in the cold, alone?"

"Perhaps in the next life," the Reaper said.

"Perhaps," Mateo smiled," but it's fine either way. I have lived and I have loved. What more could I ask for than that?"

The Reaper nodded, raising his scythe. And in the soft glow of the moonlight Mateo closed his eyes, his head tilting towards the sky. Before the scythe could hit him he heard the opening of a door, eyes opening as he slowly turned to look at the person who had ran out. She stood there in the cold evening air, cheeks feverishly red and eyes wide. For a moment it felt like he was seventeen again and she had run towards him, to save him like she always did.

"Mateo?" Gabriela said, speaking his name like a prayer.

"Mom?" Ella said, peering over her shoulder," there's nothing there."

Sebastian stepped past them on their frontyard, still his little boy despite how much he had grown.

"Dad?" he whispered.

"I'm so proud of you," Mateo said.

And then he was gone.