Needing (not edited)

Jasper (14)

Today, I came out to some of my friends. I wasn't really scared, I knew they would be fine with it. I also knew they would give knowing looks regarding Levi. I knew Andy would tell me to make a move. So I did. It wasn't huge, but I did semi-hug Levi during lunch. He was so warm, and I liked that he just let me hug him. The only weird thing was that he froze when I touched him again. The same thing happened when we went to the mall together.

I'm not sure what was happening, but it happened, and that's all that matters right now. I'll figure out why he freezes every time I touch him some other time. Also, did I mention I got his phone number? He gave it to me. I'm very proud of that. I was telling Luke about it and he said it was the happiest he had seen me in a while, and he was very excited for the possible relationship that could happen between me and Levi. Especially since now Levi knows I like guys, so maybe he'll consider me as an option...? I don't know. Whatever.

Right now, I'm sitting on my bed, looking out the window. Anything to get away from my crazy ass siblings - all four of them. Yes, I'm the second oldest child in a family of seven. There's my older sister Bridget, who is 19. Then me, 17. Reese, 15. To finish the line, the twins Malory and Melanie, who are 12. And lastly, yes -

I'm the only boy in a house of four other girls.

I grew up on makeup, boys, random giggling in other rooms, and the second I was able to drive I was getting asked to go out and get chocolate and feminine products. Don't get me wrong, I love my sisters, but they're seriously wild. Having Bridget in college helped a little, but that also means I'm the oldest. Expected to set a good example for my younger sisters.

Reese is a lost cause. She started reading boyxboy smut at the age of 11. I think that was partially Bridget's fault. Mel and Mal are now dealing with Reese who is trying to get them to watch movies inappropriate for their age and is using some colorful language when the parents aren't home. I'm a far better role model than she is.

Well, that's a not true. I'm just better at lying and acting my way out of situations. Also better at not swearing in front of them. Thank God they aren't in my school yet, because if they were they would see what I'm like around my friends. Which is summed up pretty well by: confused, oblivious, sometimes overprotective asshole.

Yeah. Thanking the heavens above that they will not be in high school until I'm out of there. Anyway, looking out into the woods behind my house through my window is very calming. You can see some birds, occasionally deer, and the creek running through the middle. Me and Luke would try to find salamanders and frogs down there a lot. I miss those years.

"Oh, Jaspy!" I heard Reese call from down the hall.

"What do you want, sis?" I replied, turning away from the window.

Right then, she opened the door and came sauntering in. "I'm bored. Talk to me," she demanded.

"Well, what if I don't want to?"

"I don't really care, you're going to talk to me anyway."

"About what?" I asked, leaning back on my the headboard of my bed.

"Anything. What do you want to talk about?" She answered, putting her head on my shoulder for a brief second.

"But I don't know."

"Hmm...what's going on in your life?"

"Uh. Not much." I haven't come out to my family yet. They would be supportive, considering Bridget is an aro/ace, and came out when she was 18. It's still scary as hell, though.

"You're lying. Talk."

"I'll maybe say at dinner tonight or possibly tomorrow. I promise I will soon. For right now, what's going on with you?"