Living with Noah Parker.

☂ Chapter Fourteen ☂

This story hurts.

Meghan’s P.O.V

BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEEEP.

My back was resting on something soft, an irregular beeping filling my ears from beside me and my mouth was dry with a weird cottony feeling I couldn’t get rid of.

“Please open your eyes Meg,” Evie was crying, painful sobs ripped through her body as tears pooled my closed eyes.

Where was the light to heaven?

Where were my parents?

“Come on Meg,” came a voice that was definitely Noah’s, filled with nothing but desperation.

I opened my mouth, gasping out for air just as my eyes shot open. White walls surrounded me, I felt trapped, enclosed, like I was held captive with no chance of escaping.

I took in another heap of air, like after you do when you’ve woken up from a horrible nightmare when you’re drenched in sweat as you clutch your chest, so thankful it was just a dream. But I wasn’t thankful; my mind was screaming why am I alive? I felt betrayed that Noah had called an ambulance, how could he? This wasn’t the right thing and I wouldn’t forgive him for this, ever.

“M-Meghan.” Evie was hiccupping, dry sobbing, crying so hard, almost as hard as I’d been when I’d taken the pills. Tears streaming down her face as she ran over enveloping me into a hug. “What the hell is wrong with you?” she whispered, and the comfort she was giving me made me feel this intense feeling on my chest, like imaginary weights that were making it hard to breathe and all I wanted to do was cry with her. I closed my eyes, letting out a hazy breath as I squeezed her back weakly, barely keeping myself together.

I opened my mouth, but nothing but sobs came out. I could feel her body trembling as she cried into me, “Suicide?” she whispered. “Why Meg?” She pulled away from me, holding me out at shoulder’s length. Her eyes were red and puffy and it hurt to look at her because I’d caused all that pain. I was the reason behind it, just as always.

I swallowed looking away blankly at the walls. I pursed my lips into a thin line as my whole body trembled. The imaginary weights were still on my chest, crushing down on my heart so I couldn’t breathe, my throat was constricted fighting back the sobs that were slowly making their way up.

“You wouldn’t understand.” I whispered, shaking my head as I put a fist to my mouth, stopping anything from coming out.

“Then make me understand Meghan,” she wiped her tears away so angrily she left red stains on her cheeks. “How could my best friend be suicidal? Why?” she broke down again and I felt like she’d shattered my insides with her tone. “Why-“ she gasped out, taking in a shaky breath before looking up at the ceiling to stop her tears from falling, “Why didn’t you come to me for help?” and it felt like I was suffocating in her pain every time she composed herself and I thought it was alright but then her face would crumple up again and these never ending tear just spilled over her cheeks falling, falling, falling down her face.

“You swallowed a whole bottle,” Noah whispered, he stood up slowly, making his way over shakily. “A whole bottle of pills,” he repeated, his voice laced with disbelief. “You could have died Meghan.”

I flinched at his tone because that’s what I wanted but he said the word with disgust, like it was a sin, like I’d made a mistake. But it wasn’t a mistake. Death was what I wanted.

“That’s what I wanted, I just want to get away-“ I couldn’t finish, because the sobs had made their way up my throat, and I was crying and crying and crying because I’d lied to my parents, I promised I’d be with them and what if they were waiting for me? What kind of daughter was I? I’d let them down. Again.