Living with Noah Parker.

☂ Chapter Eighteen ☂

Okay, I know an apology isn't sufficient, but I always thought I was hardcore but turns out I'm not, and have cried every time I've tried to write this chapter, and I don't even know why I cry, like they aren't real characters haha, but anyways, I'm going to re-write this story and hopefully make it  little bit more happier :P There's one more chapter after this! Hope all you beauties enjoy! and thank you again for your never ending support!! xxx

"Cole," I mumbled, taking him in as he stood in the doorway, his posture upright as Jace squirmed in his arms. "Jace –" I whispered, leaning forwards to take him, he grinned up at me, his front two teeth showing, his curly brown ringlets unbrushed.

"Cole –" Noah was in disbelief, "What are you doing here?" he asked,  his eyes glued to Jace in my arms.

"They dismissed me," he replied shrugging his shoulders.

I could see the lump forming in Noah throat as he swallowed it, putting on a facade.  "You have so much explaining to do." Was all he said, before walking into the living room, expecting us to follow.

I walked after him; Cole roughly grabbed my hand as I pulled him through into the living room, his eyes fixed on the slightly wonky photo of the four of us above the fireplace. Evie and Noah were sat on the love seat, hand around each other as they looked confusingly between us. I took in what seemed like the largest gasp of air before sitting down, Cole following my move, ruffling Jace's hair.

"You two are supposed to be my two best friends, and you've kept so much from me," Evie broke the silence, her voice laced with both anger and sadness. "Tell me everything." She whispered.

Cole rubbed his face, I squeezed his thigh before he looked over at me and smiled, like really smiled, and he hadn't done that in such  along time. "About a year and half ago, everything was amazing," he started, turning to grin at me, "and then one night Meg was over at mine and she was having really bad stomach cramps, so she tried to sleep it off, but they were getting worse and worse so I took her to the hospital and we found out –"

"She was pregnant," Evie cut him off, her eyes glued on Jace. She swallowed, "Is he yours?" she managed to choke out and all I could do was nod, and it felt like this massive weight had been lifted off my chest and it felt so real confessing it out loud, I had a son, Jace was my son.

"We were so scared," Cole began again, "We couldn't even look after ourselves, let alone a baby that we didn't even know existed, so we told Colton who gave us his apartment on the basis that I took a paternity test-"

His words hit me like a bullet, "What?"

He shrugged his shoulders apologetically, "I knew he was mine Megh, I had to do it for Colton's peace of mind."

"Wait," Evie put her hand out, "How can you not have known she was pregnant?"

"She just didn't look like she was pregnant." Cole replied, I rolled my eyes.

"I was so stressed out with university exams that I knew mother nature would be a little off -"

"Gross Meghan," Noah muttered, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. "How can you have hidden a baby bump?"

I shrugged my shoulders, "Apparently it's happened before, women just don't know they're pregnant because they don't show any signs."

Noah was rubbing his face, his head in his hands, "This is so fucked up.", "How did you find out about the tumour?"

Cole was getting teary, and I could sympathise with him, and I could be upset and sad, but I couldn't ever understand the level of fear he was feeling. "When I went to get my paternity test, I was getting really bad headaches, and I was drowsy and felt sick, so they took some blood samples and they basically told me I was going to die."

I shut my eyes, and tried to block out the sound of his voice, because until I didn't hear it, it wasn't real, ignorance was bliss. Jace was getting irritated, so I picked him up and tried to calm him down while Noah and Evie just looked between each other, and the room was filled with this aroma of sadness, because what are you supposed to say when someone tells you they're going to die.

"Why didn't you tell us about Jace?" Noah whispered, his eyes still glued to Jace in disbelief.

"We spent a summer together trying to look after him, and it wasn't working, we had no idea what to do, no one to ask and then just like that, one day Cole came home and he started to lash out at me, and Jace is in the only family I have left -" I had to inhale to keep the tears from falling, "And I was so afraid if I said anything to you he would take him away." Cole grabbed my face, forcing me to look at him, and I'd never seen his eyes so clouded, anger, sadness, pain, fear.

Just like that he started to cry, and I could feel my heart getting heavy as my throat started to close up on me. "It's not, it's not fucking fair." he managed to choke out, "I thought the only way that you would get through my death was if you hated me, so I tried to get you to hate me Meghan." It felt like someone had punctured my heart as I sat there with no control over my body, all this time he'd been trying to protect me. "And I kept Jace because I knew how little time I had left to spend with him," he managed to continue, and Evie was dry sobbing so hard she got up and left the room, Noah running behind her. "And I couldn't really tell you I wanted to spend time with my son before I died." he tried to laugh through his tears.

"Why didn't you tell me about the tumour?" I was so numb, my vision was blurred and my eyes were sore from crying and I just wanted to sleep until it all went away, until everything got better, until we woke up from what seemed like the worst nightmare.

"I just -" he rolled his lips in, "I just wanted you to move on."

I was hysterical, Cole pulled Jace from my arms as I brought my knees up to my chest and this wasn't fucking fair. How could there be a God when I'd lost both my parents and my boyfriend, where was the justice in this, and the fear hit me like a crashing wave, what was I going to do for the rest of my life? What was I going to do without Cole? I would wake up every morning to half an empty bed, what would I tell Jace when he grew up and asked why he didn't have a father like the rest of his friends?

I grabbed Cole's face, my heart pounding, "It's alright honey, they always find cures for things." and I was frantically looking all over his face, like the cure for cancer was kept captive in his eyes.

He was shaking his head, "You're making this harder for me Meghan," his voice cracked. "Let's all just go and lie down for a while, Jace needs a nap."

We could hear Evie sobbing from the doorway, "What do you mean stop crying?" she was so angry, "He's going to die Noah, he isn't going to come back -" and she had to stop to calm herself down. "When I met him for the first time, he promised me he would stay with Meghan-" her voice was more intense than I'd ever heard it, frighteningly full of pain, she was panting out short breaths, "How can he break a promise like that?"

Cole's arms were around me, covering my ears, pulling me into an embrace, and I let my head rest in his chest with Jace between us giggling. This was it, this was our happily ever after, this was as good as it got. And there wasn't a prince charming on a horse or a maiden in distress, it was just Meghan, Cole and Jace.

"I love you." he finally whispered into my hair, and I smiled a little, letting him hold me for the last time.