Zombies Vs Aliens: Respawn

Chapter 3.1

            Deadbeat Fred was not one for accurate description. The 'woods' he came through was actually a swamp, a snarling mass of vines, muck, and other unpleasant squishy things.

            Luckily, I insisted we stay the night in Wally world before heading out, I couldn't imagine maneuvering my way through here in the dark. After loading up on gear, we could barely see enough to make it through the store. Instead we bunked down on the moldering mattresses, reading articles from various magazines to each other by the battery powered lantern. Bert and Ernie circled the store the whole night, knocking over displays. I spent an inordinate amount of time in the periodicals, scanning headlines for "It's the end of the world stories." Not a single one, anywhere, most blathering on about celebrities and political scandal. One detail they all had in common was the cutoff date, March 2015.

            The sun was out in full swing, there were even birds chirping, making the whole end of the world more surreal then yesterday. Bright and sunny is not how I pictured my apocalypse. We set out early, the sun creeping over the horizon, loaded for bear. Aside from my supply of clothes, I had rope, a selection of switch blades and hunting knives, a bowie knife strapped to my thigh and two machetes hanging from a makeshift chain belt at my waist.

            Deadbeat Fred's get up was a little more subtle. He carried a baseball bat; a roll of barbwire slung over his shoulder, and filled his backpack with some "surprises" for later. I thought about wrapping chain or something around the wonder twins but they had a hard enough time keeping up as it was.

            "Why don't you ditch them?" Fred asked about an hour into the swampy woods. We were not moving as fast as I'd like. I'd employed the use of my machetes with enthusiasm, hacking my way through the twisting vines, but had to keep stopping to untangle my boys, who got snagged on every root, vine, and briar patch in our path.

            "I can't do that, I feel responsible for them," I said, plucking a vine from Ernie's ankle. "Maybe if we pin down another of those things, we can fix them."

            "You keep saying 'things', is it so hard to say 'aliens'?" Fred hauled Bert to his feet, lifting him over the root that took him down.

            "Yes!" I snapped, "I don't like saying zombies but it's hard to deny they exist when I look at the big hole in my chest. Zombies, aliens, none of this shit is supposed to be real! You're telling me none of this bothers you?"

            "I accept what I see. I am a walking, talking corpsicle, and the 'thing' I munched on was not of this earth, an alien."

            "Lucky it was so easy for you," I grumbled, slashing through a cluster of vines with more force than necessary, burying the tip of the machete in the mud. A hand grabbed my shoulder.

            "It wasn't easy, I told you I ran around in circles for hours, screaming my head off, but hey, why live in denial? It's more fun to embrace the crazy." He pointed to a broken hole in the growth. "That is where I came through, right on track."

            Fred's path made it a little easier on the boys, falling over half as much as before. We made our way in silence, giving me time to mull over Fred's philosophy. It was hard for me to accept my situation. So many questions didn't have answers, I couldn't piece together my identity, or how I died, and throw aliens on top of that mess, I didn't know what to do with myself. If the big pain in the ass was all Mr. Acceptance, why didn't he come up with the plans? I stumbled out of the muck, not watching where I was going, the change from swamp to field was abrupt.

            "It's gone," said Fred, pushing past me. The field was empty, but there was something there, it took me a moment to notice.

            "The grass is smoking." We looked at each other, before racing across the field, slowing down as we reached a triangular outline burned into the ground. The grass wasn't just smoking; some of it was still burning, the glowing orange of hot coals. "I didn't hear anything, did you?"

            "Nothing, but it had to be here recently, it-" A hum cut him off. I scanned the area, not seeing anything, until I had the bright idea to look up.

            From underneath, it was a sleek metal triangle hovering in the air. I grabbed Fred but he was already looking at it. The hum increased, the air distorted around the spaceship, an actual spaceship. Fred backed up a step, pulling me with him. "Maybe we should-"

            The sound broke into an angry buzz, a pulse moved through the air, like a focused shockwave, speeding toward us. I shoved Fred, diving away as it hit, blasting a furrow into the ground.

            "What is that?" Fred shouted, scrambling to his feet.

            "Get to the trees, you idiot!" I took off, not looking back as I heard the hum rev up again, preparing another shot. A sharp metallic crack rent the air, the hum fizzing out into a high pitched whine. I chanced a look over my shoulder, skidding to a stop. The ship spun a lazy circle in the air, a huge dent in its side. It further lost control as I watched, attempting to make a getaway, though it was clearly losing altitude. It hit the tree line, cutting a path of broken branches before falling out of sight. Fred was still in the center of the field, scooping up his bent baseball bat.

            By the time I caught up to him, he was staring off into the broken trees, wearing a bemused expression. "Fred?"

            The bat wasn't especially high quality; it was a cheap aluminum number and it was nearly bent in half. "I panicked," he mumbled, forcing me to lean closer to hear him. "I should have run but I just reacted, I threw it at the ship."

            I tried to picture that in my head, a light weight bat winging through the air, hitting that sleek metal ship hard enough to crumple the side. "That's some real flimsy alien technology." Sure it was.

            I poked his arm, forcing him out of whatever little reverie he retreated to. "Hey, it crashed, let's go find it." Bert and Ernie tottered up to us, unharmed by the air cannon, shock blast thingy. I had to yank Fred into gear, before he started moving on his own.

            I thought the guy was shell shocked until he piped up behind me, "I always thought aliens would use lasers."

            He'd be fine.