Zombies Vs Aliens: Respawn

Chapter 1.2

At bottle 53 I heard scraping sounds over my off key voice. I stopped and did the slasher movie slow turn. About fifty feet behind me, staggering up from the culvert, were two 'figures'. These two seemed to move through sheer determination because there sure wasn't enough muscle on those bones to do the trick. Damn, had I really looked like that?

They made it to the road and stopped, staring at me with sightless milk white eyes. There was a puzzle, everything else was clearly rotting away, how were their eyeballs still there? You would think those would be the first to go. Their skin was nearly gone, bits clinging here and there, dried out, leathery, the leftover muscles twined around their bones like beef jerky. Their skulls had a good chunk of scalp attached, providing them with a filthy tuft of hair on top of their knobby heads. They looked pretty pitiful; neither made a move toward me, just stood rocking on their feet.

I backed up a step. They stumbled forward, their teeth clicking together the only noise they made. Now, this was interesting. I had a solid feeling these two wouldn't and, likely, couldn't hurt me. Wanting to know what they would do, I walked up to them. They moved with me, shuffling a lot slower on decomposed feet. When I stopped a couple feet from them, those suckers kept right on coming.

"Whoa, whoa, aaagh! Shove off, SHOVE OFF!" They leaned into me, the smell of decomp surrounding them like a cloud. They were both taller than me, I mean, I was short to begin with but they had half a foot on me easy. I grimaced as their heads came to rest on my shoulders, one on each side, their stiff, grimy hair brushing my face. I waited, wondering if they would try to bite me but their seemed content to lean on me, like tired puppies. A giggle popped out of my mouth.

Giving the boys, I'm pretty sure they were boys, an awkward pat on the back; I tried to gently shove them away. The wonder twins leaned in again. Okay, not having this. I shoved them both off, horrified when they crashed over backward, skidding along the pavement a few feet. They flailed weakly, unable to sit up.

"Oh! Sorry! Sorry!" I rushed over to the taller of the two, hauling him upright, doing the same to other. They swayed, looking ready to topple over, unable to keep their balance on nothing but a pelvis bone. They still didn't try to bite me. How could these guys hurt anyone? They weren't really monsters anymore, not like this. Maybe that's why I hadn't seen any other walking dead people around, they simply rotted away. Yup I was sympathizing with my undead brethren.

A weight on the top of my head signaled the tall one resting on me again, I still had the other one at arm's length, feeling him press forward, trying to get to me. Now I'm a zombie magnet? If I ran away would they try to follow? There was no emotion in those milky eyes, no facial expression other than the natural grin of their skinless jaws. The smell wasn't really that bad. At least I wouldn't be alone.

Shame there weren't any super snacks lying around for my new friends; maybe a dose of purple Wheaties might do the same trick for them. Okay, I was counting on the same trick, because if this was the kind of company I had to look forward to, just kill me again.

Wait a second! I didn't have the Wheaties, but maybe I had the cheap knock off brand. They did this shit in the movies all the time; I could make them like me. How did zombies make other zombies in the movies? Bite. The answer zinged through my brain like a flare, accompanied by a picture book of grotesquery. I must have loved horror movies. Talk about irony. I eyed the one in front of me, his sad little patch of hair stuck up in all directions. This was not going to be pleasant. I brought his arm up to my lips, bracing myself. He did nothing as I framed my mouth over a section of dried muscles. I bit down.

It looked like jerky, it tasted like jerky rolled in oil, dirt, and shit. I released him, wiping my tongue with a scrap of my shirt. I desperately wanted to spit the taste out of my mouth, but I had no saliva. I would happily gargle thumbtacks to never do that again. Considering my test subject continued to moon at me with those filmy orbs of his, there was no point in biting the other one. My transformation happened pretty fast. I was chewing brain when I came to, so something should have sparked by now.

 Biting was out.. Brains couldn't be the only answer, because hell no, I was not cracking my cranium. There had to be something. I could go Dracula on them, feed them my blood, except, I didn't have a pulse. Would I bleed? Vampires in movies gushed buckets, but I sure as shit wasn't a vamp. It was worth a try.

I thought about using the present hole in my chest, but couldn't get over the gross out factor of sticking my fingers into my own rib cage. Instead I chomped on my wrist, opening up a decent sized gash which filled with black blood. I'm not sure what I expected, but as unsettling as the color was, the wound immediately started to pucker and dry up. That was way creepier. I quickly used my bony left hand to pry open my test subject's jaw and smear it on the inside of his teeth.

At first nothing happened. Then he jerked back, falling back on the ground, the leathery patches of skin beginning to wriggle. Ah, ha, success, I looked at my wrist, ready to repeat the process for my taller friend.

"Sonofabitch!" I squealed. The gash on my wrist hadn't healed over, but the blood was gone, leaving a bloodless, pulpy, tear in my skin. I had to bite myself again. "You've gotta be kidding me." Not wanting to take the chance of missing the window, I maneuvered out from under the tall guy, guiding him down to rest on my knee. With a sigh, I bit my arm again, right next to the first wound, relieved when it filled with more black blood. I didn't waste any time force feeding zombie number two.

"I mutilated myself for you two. You better appreciate it." I slid out from under him as the change started, peering over my first subject. "Oh, shit."  

Well, my zombie did look different from before, but he was a far cry from my appearance. A great deal of skin and muscle regrew, but not enough, far, far from enough. He had filled out, gained flesh but it was a pallid gray color, and a bit oozy. There was no part of him covered enough not to look oozy. He regrew a tongue, but no lips. Every time he opened that mouth was a sight to remember. Not much in the way of vocal chords either, judging by the raspy moan he made. Great, just great.

My other subject didn't fare any better, though he managed to re-grow a nose. They hadn't even recovered the majority of their hair, just those silly patches on top. Both retained those milk white eyes too, though they seemed to perceive more than before. My mojo was obviously not enough to work the magic. I banged my head on my knees, feeling a bit hopeless, until a soft moan at my ear made me look.

The taller one gently butted his head against mine, and sat back, clearly waiting for me to do something. The other one watched me with the same intent. I rolled to my feet. They clambered after me, clumsy, but definitely moving faster. What now? Would they come with me? I backed up, they followed. I danced to the side, they bobbed along after me. Okay, I had a posse. A slimy, shambling posse, but it was mine. I couldn't keep calling them tall one and shorter one.

I snapped my fingers, pointing at the taller of the two. "I got it. You're Bert," I swung my finger, "and you're Ernie." I clapped my hands together, the feel of bone against flesh a little disconcerting. "Alright boys, there's got to be a Wal-Mart around here somewhere. I need clothes, and shoes, definitely shoes."

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