Zombies Vs Aliens: Respawn

Chapter 3.2

The path of descent was easy to follow, the ship sheared over the top section of every tree it hit on the way down. It looked like a patch of pine, the ground wonderfully solid under our feet, with a carpet of dead yellow needles. What part of the country were pines prevalent? Yeah, all over the damn place. Least I was relatively certain we weren't in the Midwest.

            We came to the edge of a farm. The ship plowed through a field of weeds, coming to rest in a mound of dirt surrounded by crumbling haystacks. A ways off was a farmhouse, paint peeling, shutters hanging off, it completed that apocalyptic feel. We were halfway to the ship when it split open. The occupant slid out in a boneless heap, rolling over to stand, and began to stumble away. I've never seen a person walk with three legs. It was different, kind of mesmerizing how none of them moved at the same time, but in a wave, an undulation, floating across the grass. Fred was not mesmerized. He rushed it, shoving the alien into a nearby haystack, pinning it with the end of his curved bat. 'Now what do I do' he mouthed at me. The alien raised its weaponless hands, its breath broken and raspy through the cracked mask it wore.

            "Um, hello?" I gave it a wave, trying to figure out what to say. Fred was not helpful.

            "Hello? This isn't a meet and greet."

            "Yeah, sorry, I never read the manual on how to interrogate your alien captive. Ease up Fred, don't suffocate it before I figure out how to talk to it." Fred didn't seem to be impairing the alien's breathing, but it was definitely struggling. I squinted at the crack in the face mask. It was deeper than I thought, what looked like steam escaped the crack in little puffs. "It might be dying on us anyway."

            There was a subtle nod, a downward tip of the chin, but it hinted to a grasp of my language. "You understand us?" Boy, was I floored when he answered.

            "You understand me." Perfect English, a little distorted by the mask, but the alien spoke it like English was its native tongue. I thought so anyway, until I looked up at Fred staring at me, his crystal cut eyes wide. Suddenly he broke out in a wide grin, like 'a kid on Christmas morning' wide, and this was the first time I'd seen him smile. That mouth was a warning add for people addicted to crack and teeth whitening strips, lovely snow white teeth, and scary black gums. Shit, I probably had the same color scheme. I'm never smiling again, ever. Why was he so happy?

            "Duuuuuddddde! We are totally speaking his language!"

            "What are you talking about? He spoke English." Did he? Did I? Come to think of it, even though the words in my head were English, they were not the same words my mouth formed. I peered at our wheezing alien friend. "How?"

            "A side effect of your creation, one to be remedied soon." He moved fast for a dying guy. The alien brought up his legs, kicking Deadbeat Fred off, sending him sailing over the crashed ship with a heavy thud to the ground. Following through with the motion, the alien came to his feet, drawing a weapon from his hip, because geniuses that we are, we didn't frisk him for weapons.

            I stood still. He was point blank range; I wouldn't be able to dodge the shot, not completely. My hands went to my hips. If he nailed me with one of those sound waves of doom, I would come up swinging, maybe get lucky. Maybe I could stall him, hope Fred got his bearings. "What do you want?"

            "You killed my companions." This was a revenge hit? Well right now it was, but he hadn't really answered me.

            "What do you want with this planet? Not exactly many humans running around to conquer, what with the whole zombie apocalypse and all. Did you miss the memo?"

            "This planet will be ours." Was he angry? I couldn't tell, hard to read emotions through the face mask. The weapon leveled with my face. Time to bluff.

            "You think that guy is the only one with me?" Yes, yes he was because Bert and Ernie were nowhere to be seen, so much for my faithful companions.  "This world is full of undead, and we find you tasty. Good luck taking the planet, asshole."

            "We will eradicate your kind and the rest of the humans with you-"

            That's when the axe split his skull.

            "Fuck!" I yelped as purple day-glow brain matter splattered my brand new shirt. Aware there were more pressing concerns, I backed up as my alien friend took a nose dive to the dirt, axe firmly implanted in cranium. Standing over him, covered in muck and hay, was a girl. I think it was a girl. It was hard to tell under the dirt, now with purple highlights. She was tiny, half a foot shorter than me, with a tangled nest of hair that could have been blue for all the grease in it. It was caked on her, like she hadn't had a bath in years, further evidenced by the odor coming off her, similar to an open sewer. Her clothes were about the same shape mine were when I 'woke' up, which is why I thought she was one of us.

            "Hey there, thanks for the save. Could have timed it better, but I could have a hole in my chest by now, so not complaining." No response, none. I heard Deadbeat Fred grunting behind me, finally attempting to rejoin the party. The girl tensed, shrinking back into the hay. Her eyes were wild, like a trapped animal. How long had she been there? "You okay?" I reached for her.

She snapped her teeth and growled, shuffling back into the stack. I got a good look in her mouth, real good, at slightly yellowed teeth and pink gums. "Holy shit, she's alive!"

"What?" Fred stumbled up next to me, twisting his hat back in place. "Aw man, he's already melting."

The alien was dissolving fast into a puddle eating away at my shoes. "Oh, come on! I just got these!" I stomped away, trying to wipe off the alien goo in the dirt. It had the same foul smell as the first one I met. Good thing I lost my gag reflex, being dead, or I would hurl all over the place.

"You get any good information out of him? Where did the axe come from?"

"Are you blind? That girl did it, right before she tried to bite my hand off."

Fred blinked at me. "What girl? I thought you were talking to me." The hay stack growled making him jump. "What the--?"

"Fred, Haystack, Haystack, Fred." I side stepped the noxious puddle of alien, trying to peer into the hay, earning another growl. "Seriously though, I think she's a breather."

"How could anyone survive out here?" He leaned in trying to get a look himself. "Hello?"

"Maybe there are others?" I shrugged toward the farmhouse. It was a stretch, but I was trying to find a reason, because there was no good reason for a filthy live girl to be out alone in the middle of zombie wasteland. "Want to keep an eye on her? I'm going to check it out."