platonic t.chalamet

lxv

— afterglow

  he was gorgeous. she'd probably said that many times before, but it never made this time any less true. he was gorgeous. just like she knew he was.

  over the night she saw him a few times, out of he corner of her eye, or his face flashing across the screen, or behind the person she was congratulating. he was there. on the red carpet, on the large screens, or just simply passing by, asa couldn't help but feel aware of just his simple presence.

  and it'd always been like that, for as long as asa could remember. she could see his face on the sidewalk, or down the street, in the face of her costars. anywhere and in anything, she saw tim. and for a while she thought she could get rid of it. his smile, his crinkles when he laughed, and the way his voice rose when he talked to her.

  she believed she could get all of that out of her brain, as best as she could. she knew how she felt about him, and she knew how he felt about her, it was just, the willingness of time. she knew she wanted to come back to him. to tell him that she still loves him, and that she knows for sure, that this was meant to be. that they were meant to be.

  but as the times approached and they'd end up at the same event, her body recoiled and never once spoke a work to him.

  for the past two years, asa gubler has been avoiding timothée chalamet.

but this time, it was inevitable. she was nominated for best actress and he was nominated for best actor, which she was sure he would win. and if she was to win, they were to take a photo together. and then, she would be forced to face him.

and maybe that's a good thing, asa. the words echoed through her brain as she aimlessly stared at the stage which gave presentations of whatever award was being presented. she had earlier complained to saoirse, who, like everyone else, had been strung between timothée and asa. asa, you've havent talked. maybe it'll be good to talk, and heaven knows you want to talk to him. asa could imagine saoirse's pursed lips as asa anxiously paced in her hotel room, only hours before the event began.

but what if... she had many of those questions.

  what if he doesn't want me anymore? it's been two years for heavens sake. she hadn't talked to him, let alone talked to him about her feelings for him. what if he thinks she doesn't want him?

  and saoirse would reply, it's only been two years.

and asa would sigh, a lot can happen in two years.

and a lot did happen in two years. a lot more than asa could ever imagine. sex education was released, she didn't become a regular but for good reason, seeing as she was given the role of mia in a new musical, la la land. the role was graciously given to her after davis recommended her to the director when they asked him if she could sing. in that, she spent the next year taking dance and singing lessons while simultaneously working on the movie. though it was a lot for a newcomer in the musical world, she couldn't be more grateful for davis and this crazy role he landed her, because that's how she ended up here.

the oscars.

with her third nomination, and this time being the first time she had been nominated for "best actress." and all on top of that, she was finally a person she wanted to be. though they got on each other's nerves, she never found herself yelling at her brother as she once did, and she managed to patch up the little remaining relationship she had left brewing with davis, who didn't deserve any thing she had ever done to him. and thankfully, he slowly became one of her best friends, despite everything.