Amber

Chapter 6

October 9, 2014

Dear Journal,

Brad has started coming to the library more often. I'm not sure if his neighborhood has become super generous all of a sudden, but now he shows up at least three days a week. Sometimes his boxes are only half full though, or he'll come without a box at all, claiming that he's there to ask Mrs. Swanson a question or pick out a book for English class. Whatever his reason, I'm not going to complain because it means I get to see his gorgeous face almost every day now, and he always at least says hi to me. Most of the time we end up talking for, like, half of the period though. I'm learning so much about him. He's even nicer and more interesting than he is gorgeous ... and that's almost impossible.

The only bad part of seeing so much of him is that I've had to modify my rotation of nine outfits. After further analysis I decided I can squeeze in two other outfits if I accessorize enough and distract him by wearing my hair up those days. I've also explained the situation to Hannah, and she's set aside three of her outfits for me to borrow as needed. So now I'm up to fourteen, and Hannah is going to take me shopping this weekend to find a few more.

Brad has done most of the talking.

It's probably because I haven't given him a chance to ask me questions. Every time he's around, I ask him a ton first to get to know him. I'm afraid that if he asks me things and gets to know me, he'll learn that I'm not interesting. I feel like my mysteriousness is the number one thing I have going for me right now.

Brad likes his teachers but hates his classes. Loves school but hates schoolwork. He wears dark T-shirts and light jeans that are frayed in places and seems to have an endless collection of different colored motivational wristbands. He has a younger half-brother named Ben (I'm not sure what Ben's friends call him) and a younger sister named Sarah. They both go to another school. Brad's originally from a suburb of Chicago. He wants to go to a local college and major in music.

Ya, he's a rock star. Like, an actual rock star ... not a fake rock star like me. He's in a band with some other guys from school, and they actually perform shows sometimes in one of the band member's backyards because his parents are loaded and have an enormous house with practically no neighbors. Brad's the lead singer, and he writes all of the songs.

Chances decreasing.

For a while I wasn't sure where I stood in Brad's social universe. Like, I knew he was at least somewhat interested because he talked to me so much, but I was starting to think that our relationship would never break away from the walls of the library and to him that would be perfectly fine. It would not be my preference, but honestly, Brad is so damn intoxicating that I would have taken anything I could get—even if that meant only existing as his library friend. Anything to be around him.

But that all changed today.

Today he came into the library without a box at all or any excuse as to why he was there. He walked up to me and said hello, and then instead of talking like normal, he just stood there with his fingers jammed into his pockets and finally asked, "So would you like to go for a walk or something after school?"

A part of me wanted to stop time and form a list in my mind of all the possibilities of what the 'something' part of his question could be.

1) Make out.

2) Hold each other.

3) Make out while holding each other.

4) Get married and then make out.

5) Undergo a procedure to become physically attached at the hip.

6) Hold hands and stare into each other's eyes as if we belonged inside of them.