July 12, 2015
Dear Journal,
Mom and Dad found another house already. We're moving next week. I guess they'll worry about selling this one after we move. I don't care. I guess I have to tell Brad. I just don't know what to say.
Can you tell him for me?
Tell him I love him and that I'll always love him more than he'll ever know. Because I do. But Hannah was wrong. Loving someone isn't about letting him hurt you. It's about not letting yourself hurt him ...
Tell him I'll never feel for anyone the way I feel for him. Tell him I love him so much that I'm willing to let him go. Willing to let him love someone else who can do what I can't. Someone who can have normal feelings. Someone who can experience fun. Someone who is not a mess. Not a disaster. Tell him I can't hold him responsible for piecing me back together.
Remind Brad that our hearts are magnets and that magnets don't connect. They repel.
Explain the reason why Jerri could never give up smoking for good, and tell him that the only way to conquer addiction and be stronger than the things we crave is to make a choice to walk away from them. To give them up completely without warning. Cold turkey.
Tell him I have to leave. No. Tell him I've already gone. Ever since Hannah nothing has been the same. It can never be the same now. It's not fair to him to hope that things could ever be normal again or go back to the way they were. I'm too much of a mess.
Tell him we can't be happy together.
Tell him I don't know how to be happy again.
Tell him all of the things I'm not strong enough to.
And then tell him I'm sorry. So insanely sorry.
Even though it won't do any good.
YOU ARE READING
Amber
Teen FictionThe Austins moved to Oak Creek Indiana to escape reminders of a family tragedy. To forget their past. For the first time in her sixteen years, Hailey Austin is without a sibling. Haunted by the memory of a sister she can never recover and a death sh...
