Our little arrangement💫

-15- Axel💓

I didn't see Duncan at a second break or in the hallways. He had texted me while I was in geometry and told me that he wasn't going to be at school for the rest of the day. Although it sucked that I didn't have his support Erick talked to me when I was walking to gym class. I didn't go to the cafeteria since first break was so traumatizing and I knew Amber was still mad at me. The fact was that Jake knew  about me and Duncan way before anything was said or before Duncan sat at our table. Somehow that idea was not comforting.

Although I texted Duncan the entire day it still didn't feel the same. He told me not to worry about him and that he was totally fine but I got the sense that he wasn't. I asked Erick about it but he told me that there was something Duncan had to take care of. I thought it had something to do with his parents. Directly after second break the principal called me and asked me what happened. After I told him the story at least three times he told me to go and told me not to worry and that Duncan was perfectly fine. I worried about Duncan and what his injuries were but mostly about his parents.

Coming out is not a great experience and the fact that the principal had to tell his parents was even worse. What makes me the angriest was the fact that Jake was just sitting there watching it all unravel, it was him who started this fight in the first place and it was him who caused this. Amber still wasn't talking to me by the time our last class started and I knew that I wouldn't be able to stay at her house tonight. I wanted to call Trish and ask her to stay but I didn't want to bother them, at least not before visiting Duncan and making sure he's okay.

Yes he did warn me not to go visit him but I wouldn't be a good boyfriend if I didn't at least try and break the rules every once in a while. I walked to Mr O'Brien's house and went inside to collect the keys the house incase I came in late. They were on the kitchen table and as I leaned in to grab them Mr O'Brien  saw me and headed over to hug me. I hugged him back and then put my keys in my jeans pocket.

" Axel, you good? I heard about the fight today and about your relationship with Duncan.

" Has everyone heard about that? I asked rolling my eyes.

" Just the people who are interested in gossip, so yes everyone has heard.

" Great. Listen I'd love to stay here and talk but I have to go and visit someone-

" Don't be home too late, Trish is making tacos and I'm pretty sure you love those.

" I'm just going to go visit Duncan to make sure he's okay. He didn't ask me to but I really want to.

" No need to explain yourself to me Axel. Have fun and don't do anything you're not supposed to. If you know what I mean.

"Sure.

I nodded  and headed out grabbing my keys in my back pocket. Mr O'Brien had given himself the task of talking to me about relationships. Although I appreciated the gesture, I really didn't need his lectures at home too. School was already bad enough. He was a speaker and it was in his nature to do so but sometimes al I wanted was to get away from school. Yes I loved school but everyone needed a break once in a while. Even the smartest people.

I got in my car and started the engine, planning to make a quick detour to the grocery store first. I remembered that I hadn't eaten since first break and second break I had to help one of my teachers move boxes in his car. The car engine roared to life and I drove for a few minutes  until I reached the store. It looked different then I remembered because they have replaced the old windows after the break in a month ago. I wasn't too worried that it would happen again and entered the store quickly as the sliding door opened.

The candy bars were at the back near all the fizzy drinks and soda's. I took one of my favourites and browsed around the store for a bit longer. The was a huge line and I didn't want to wait for a long time. I checked out the rest of the candy that was stocked there and even made a few mental notes. When I was really bored I would do that. It helped me think in case I needed a distraction or wanted to use my knowledge to good use. There was now only one woman standing by the till. I couldn't see her face but she must've been in corporate judging by her outfit. Her hair was all neatly tied up and had streaks of gray , showing the mark of old age. Judging by her backside she look older than forty. I stood a few metres behind her and waited to be helped.

I watched as the woman turned around to look for something and suddenly I froze. I couldn't move or speak and it felt like someone was stabbing me with a very small dagger , holding it against my throat. Slicing my bare skin.

"I think I left it over there, just give me a -, said the woman before she saw me.

She didn't move, I didn't move, we just both stood there staring at one another. I put down my candy bar and walked out, realising I had to find another place to go to. The sliding doors closed behind me and I thought it was someone else or just the shop owner, instead it was the woman again. I turned to look at her. Her face was plastered full of make up and her hair tied neatly behind her head. Her wrinkles weren't noticeable, yet she had many. I couldn't believe what I was seeing, never in my wildest imagination did I think I would ever see her dressed up for anything. Or have a job. Or basically take any responsibility.

She turned to me and pulled something from her pocket. It was the candy bar that I had soullessly left on the counter.

"Axel.

"What?

" You forgot something in there. No one should leave without buying something.

" Did you pay for that yourself? Or did you steal it?

" Axel, I know in the past I have been quite difficult-

" I don't wanna talk about the past, I don't even wanna talk to you, so just go.

"I'll go once you take this, she said as she handed me the candy bar.

" I don't want anything from you. I said it to you six years ago and I will say it again, I don't want anything from you.

"As you wish. One more thing... I've changed , I'm different now and I think if you give me a chance we can be a family again, I know in the past I've promised and I never delivered but this time I mean it. I have a job now and I can buy my own food-

" I have to go. It's getting late and I have to be somewhere.

I said nothing else as I got into my car and started the engine. I watched as my mother kept looking at me as I drove away from the store and into the direction of Duncan's house. Most people would say that I was harsh, that if she promised she was better and I should give her a chance because she was my mother. When you've been promised things your whole life and they've all been lies, you learn not to trust anyone. Yes she was my mother, I did love her back when I still lived with her.

But right now I wanted nothing to do with her. Not now and definitely not a few years from now. I was the one who had to take care of her and help her when she had hangovers and when she got drunk and came back home. I was the one who had to hide in the closet for six hours when her boyfriends wanted to punish me. I gave up that life because I chose to and no matter what she promised me I was never going back. Yes she was better now but the second I came back she'd go right back to what she was. I wasn't going to sacrifice myself just to get hurt again.

I drove and drove until I stopped in front of Duncan's house. I hoped that he was okay and that he would let me inside. Because truth be told if he didn't I would probably do something stupid. I got out and knocked on the door. Then I waited.