Destiny

13. Excepting The Harsh Truth

A couple of days later, she noticed something very odd. There was a small white patch on her foot where she had got burnt.

Initially, Anupama did not bother much about the patch. But as the days passed, she realized that it was growing bigger. She could no longer afford to ignore it.
What was it? she wondered. She began to suspect that it could be leukoderma, and became numb with fear. She was too shocked even to cry. Sunaina noticed that her daughter-in-law was becoming listless, day by day, and assumed that it was because she was missing Anand. Anupama did not share her problem with anybody.

In the meantime, Anupama's father
wrote to tell her that Diya was getting married. The groom was a clerk in Saraswati Co-operative Bank, and as his grandmother had passed away recently, they wanted the wedding to be held only after six months.

Satish's letter asked if she would stay back for six more months and then join her husband. Anupama was very happy for Diya, but she was in no mood to postpone her journey by another six months. She wanted to escape from her in-laws' place as soon as possible.

Meanwhile, she decided to go for a check-up and if her suspicions about the patch proved to be true, she would also find out how it could be treated.

Anupama had seen many people with leukoderma, but had hardly given them a fleeting thought. However, things were different now. She asked God what sin she had committed to be punished so. As far as she could remember she had never hurt anybody. Then why had this curse befallen her?

She prayed to God to prove her fears false. Anupama knew she had to be extremely discreet, and keep her problem a secret. But how could she visit the doctor without anyone else finding out about it? Whenever she wished to go out, the driver had been instructed to take her out in the car. And if she went to the doctor, the driver would definitely report it to her mother-in-law. Nor could she consult their family physician-that would invite an even greater disaster.

Anupama could not share her agony even with Anand. She brooded constantly and prayed to God to save her from this ordeal. But the patch continued to grow, making her terrified of what the future held in store for her.

One evening, when Aadya was not at home and Sunaina was getting ready to attend a religious discourse, Anupama decided that it was the opportune time for her to visit the doctor.

She said, 'I would like to visit my friend in the hostel. I haven't met her in a long time. I will see her and return soon.'

Sunaina asked, 'How will you go? I will be taking the car and the driver.'

'Don't worry. I can take a bus or an auto.'

'Don't go by bus. Take an auto and come back before it gets dark.'

Anupama felt as if she had freed herself from a giant web. She immediately took an auto and soon reached the clinic of a famous dermatologist, Dr Rao, in the heart of the city. Fortunately, the doctor was in, and Anupama sat waiting for her turn with the other patients who had come before her.

The clock ticked away mercilessly, and Anupama started to worry that she would not be able to reach home on time.

She was beginning to wonder why the doctor was taking so long, when she was called in.

The doctor was confident and sympathetic, and his reassuring voice stilled her fears. 'Sit down. Don't worry.
Tell me, what is the problem?'

Anupama hesitated for a moment, then raised her sari so that her foot was exposed, and showed him the white patch. Dr Rao tested it with a needle and ascertained that there was no loss of sensation there.

His face was expressionless as he said, 'You have vitiligo.'
'What does that mean, doctor?' asked Anupama, thinking it could be some minor problem.
'It is also known as leukoderma.'
Anupama could not stem the flow of her tears any longer.

The doctor was aware that tiny white patches like that had ruined many marriages, shattered many hearts, broken many engagements.

Most patients who learnt that they had leukoderma were overwhelmed by the social implications of their affliction.

He did not try to stop her from crying-he felt it was the best way for her to cope with her tensions and fears.

When she regained her composure, he said, 'This is not an incurable condition. There are new medicines available in the market today. Before I write out the prescription, can I know a little bit of your family history? Does anybody in your family have vitiligo?'

'My mother passed away when I was a child, so there is none whom I can ask. But I can't think of anyone in the family who has had this. Doctor, is it hereditary?'

'Not necessarily. Nothing had been proved as yet. '

'Doctor, did this happen because my foot got burnt?'

'No. That was just a coincidence. These patches may come anywhere, at any age. There is no explanation for them at all. Some women even get them during pregnancy.'

Anupama wiped her tears. 'Doctor, why did I get this?' she asked.

'I don't have an answer to your question-in fact, no one can answer it. I will write out a prescription for you. Try it and see if it helps you.'

'Do you think I'll be cured within a month?'

'Let me be frank with you,' Dr Rao said. 'Skin conditions do not get cured
within a matter of days-the time frame varies from person to person. We will try to arrest it and see if we can stop it from spreading further. But I cannot assure you that you will be cured within a certain time.'

Anupama's heart sank as she rose to leave.

Understanding her agony, the doctor continued, 'Don't lose courage. This is not a disease. It is caused by defective pigmentation of the skin. Face it boldly- anxiety and tensions may only aggravate it.'

'Doctor, will you please keep my visit confidential?' Anupama requested the doctor in a low tone.

'Of course, it is my duty.' He wrote the prescription and gave it to her saying, 'This medicine is a solution. Apply it only on the affected area. Infrared rays are strongest in the morning. Expose this medicated patch to the sun's rays for ten minutes. Repeat this procedure every alternate day, and then come back to me.'
The consultation had taken almost an hour. She now understood why dermatologists spent such a long time with each patient.