Homophobic (l.s)

Chapter 9

Louis' nightmares of a broken boy become re-occurring throughout the night. He's always protecting the little blue eyed boy that is cowering away from monsters. Louis knows this kid like the back of his hand because that boy is him. It's kind of fucked up really, that here Louis is at 25 years old and still dreaming of protecting his younger self but it's happening. With each dream, Louis' younger self is growing. Louis wants nothing more than to protect himself, and wishes that somehow all those years ago he had. If he had protected himself, maybe things might be different for himself now. By the time Louis' alarm suddenly blasts, Louis is already awake staring at his ceiling in a tired daze. The alarm doesn't faze him. It was a wise choice to use The Fray as an alarm tone, because it was an easier way to wake up.

The dread settles into Louis' stomach when he realizes it's actually time to get up. There's good and bad in today. Bad being that he has to go to school again and deal with more unpredictable shit, and good being that this was the last day before the weekend. Louis' morning routine is a rush and that's because Louis is making sure he has more than enough time to buy a coffee. He deserved it, especially after the night he just had. Louis doesn't care that he's wearing odd socks, or the fact his pants aren't ironed, and he throws on the first shirt he sees. He doesn't care to shave the stubble that is starting to grow, or fix his hair. He just runs his brush through his tangled hair before running out the door. Louis knows that he's doing the wrong thing when he places his large green water bottle in his satchel. He knows he's got a problem when he's going to be drinking vodka in his office in a fucking plastic bottle. He'll get caught and lose his job. However, it doesn't change the fact he's still going to do it.

When Louis walks parks his car at the mall, he makes it a quick trip to Starbucks for his coffee fix. He orders his usual cappuccino with double the shots and grabs a bagel. If he doesn't eat, he'll probably die. And that's not being dramatic either. Louis spends almost 15 minutes leaning against the hood of his car, closing his eyes as he drinks his coffee and feels the familiar buzz of the caffeine under his skin. When Eleanor sends him a text, he realizes he's just about late to start work, and starts his drive to hell.

How is everything today? Are you feeling better?

Everything is great today, perfectly fine. I'm brilliant.

Louis sends it, and knows that Eleanor will not get the sarcasm and will fall for it. It's great because he's looking forward to a day in his life that Eleanor isn't being a pest. It's when he pulls up and notices a ginger and blonde walking towards the courts, that the sudden realization that Harry isn't there hits him. Louis briefly knows what time the boy arrives, since he's almost always there when Louis arrives. And it's even more worrying because Louis is actually later than usual, so Harry really should be there. Louis jumps out of his car, locking it quickly and tries to make it not obvious that he's looking for Harry. He stops when he hears someone call his name. Louis looks towards the voice, and a part inside of him shrivels away when he sees the blonde student that is still pestering him about assignments. Before she can get any closer and open her stupid mouth, Louis holds his hand up.

"Before you speak. Do I look physically well enough right now to be explaining what is happening? They are all done. Expect them on Monday,"

The girls face is hard and lips a pursed in a sour pout, before she turns around abruptly and leaves. Louis huffs to himself and continues his way.

"Mr Horan," Louis yells, and notices Niall stop and look back

Louis actually doesn't know how to approach the situation. He chews the inside of his cheek as Niall starts to make his way over. Louis only has one chance to talk without making Harry's problem public. He inhales deeply once Niall is close enough to speak.