Homophobic (l.s)

Chapter 19

(Authors note: I have struggled with writing for an extremely long time. I'm sorry if this is terrible. I am finally finding my feet again. I hope you enjoy) 

Louis can't help how ashamed he feels, as he stares at the floor ahead of him. He can't even make eye contact with Eleanor, who is calmly sitting across from him on the couch. Louis was exhausted, he only had a few hours of sleep. It wasn't until the sun had started lighting up the room that he had fallen asleep. Eleanor had ducked in quickly to check on Louis; mostly wanting to see how his date went. However, when Eleanor arrived she could tell there was something off. She was completely right, because when she walked into Louis' room, all she could smell was sweat and alcohol. It was enough to make her feel ill.

"I had too much to drink last night. He told me that he didn't want to pursue anything and he felt like I was emotionally unavailable. How fucked up am I?" He laughed to himself, eyes stinging with tears.

"You're not fucked up Louis. You're going through a lot now and it will take time. You took the first step and it will get easier. You need to stop being so hard on yourself,"

Louis looked up from the floor and made eye contact with Eleanor. She was watching him carefully, eyebrows furrowed and smiling sadly at him. She was right, but he doesn't know what to do next. What is the next step forward?

"What do I do? Just pretend this never happened and fake a smile?"

"No. Not at all. Everything that has happened has made you who you are. Instead of dwelling on the past, focus on the things in front of you. You have an amazing job doing something you love. You have a reason to get up of a morning. There are kids out there that need your help,"

"For something that isn't really that important. Drama? It'd be different if I was a surgeon or some bullshit,"

"Stop thinking like that Louis, those kids really enjoy your classes. You know they do,"

Louis chuckled to himself, shaking his head. The first thought that popped up was Harry.

"Some, not all,"

"I think you need to go have a shower, and I'll make you some tea. I want to try and help you, because despite everything that has happened, you're still one of my best friends okay?"

Louis nods his head, and forces himself up off the couch and trudges upstairs towards his bathroom. He's so fucking tired.

Whilst Louis is in the shower, Eleanor begins to assess her options. She could either stay here until Louis is comfortably on his feet again, she could get him more psychological help. Or she could try and heal the issues that are deeply troubling him. She could reach out to Louis' parents and try and fix this issue once and for all. Whilst she goes over this in her head, she makes Louis and herself some tea and gathers Louis' medication which she knows he hasn't been taking properly.

When Eleanor passes Louis' alcohol cabinet, she stares at it for a moment. She knows that in Louis' weakest moments he'll turn to the alcohol. He'll drown out his sorrows, even if it is for just a night. She knows how bad he can get, and she knows he's going down that path again. If she cleared the cabinet, he'd kill her. He'd have a mental breakdown. Eleanor continues back to the lounge room and sits down on the couch, resting her face in her hands. She's overwhelmed. Louis needs her, more so than ever. Eleanor knows if she doesn't help, Louis might successfully kill himself this time. She knows over this weekend, she's not going to leave his side. She needs to make sure by Monday, he's able to teach with a clear mind. She wants him to find happiness in a job that he once loved.