As Cold As Ice

Granted

As I became more intertwined with Ace's mafia, Avery was falling deeper into drugs. I knew he had been using. I just wasn't exactly sure how often and how much. I was hoping it was a little a week but that's being wishful. He'd leave every night to buy drugs and he'd come home high. That's how it was for awhile. I refused to speak with him when he was high so it's not like I spoke to him much considering I was still working and he had school. Liz encouraged us to spend as much time with each other as possible. She told us not to take family for granted.

Avery was just about to turn seventeen soon. As each day went by, he seemed less like a kid. I didn't want him to grow up. I don't know why, I wanted him to stay little forever. I had been saving a big surprise for his birthday which was around the corner. I had bought him tickets to Iceland to see the northern lights. I booked it for five days so surely we'd see them.

I had just gotten home at eleven from being with Ace. We had errands to run so I decided to help him out to get a quick bit of cash before Avery's birthday. Ace and I had grown very close, very quickly. We knew we could count on each-other because who else did we have to depend on. I had Avery but he was in his rebellious stage. I don't think I had a rebellious stage, mainly because I could do whatever I wanted. It was great for awhile but eventually became more of a burden than a blessing.

My clothes were soaking from the rain which was pouring from the sky. I stood at the door as Liz greeted me, peeling off my wet jacket which was stuck to my skin. She hung it on an old jacket holder, which was sitting in the corner of the hall.

"Honey, you're soaking!" Liz sighed, before urging me to my room to get new clothes. She was afraid I'd catch a cold.
"I'll be fine, I promise" I reassured her as I entered my bedroom to see Avery rooting through my savings. I stared at him for a minute in disbelief. He'd always ask me if he could borrow money, but he had never stooped to stealing before. There was no expression in his eyes, I had let him go on like this for too long. The drugs were consuming more and more of him everyday.
"I need the money" He grumbled, holding it tightly in his hand.
"How much do you owe?" I asked him, shaking my head.
"Over a grand" he muttered, staring at the floor with embarrassment.

"I let you slip too far away" I sighed, sitting on my bed. Avery stared blankly at me, still clutching onto the money.
"Go" I stated, closing my eyes with regret.
"I'll pay you back, I just can't right now" He uttered, leaving the room and shutting the door behind him.

I didn't know where he was going or who he was going to meet. I could only guess.

A couple of hours had passed and I couldn't sleep knowing he was out there. Liz entered my room at two in the morning, saying I should go out and look for him as he's got nowhere else to stay. I knew he didn't but I was stubborn. I knew he'd be home soon and probably still be high. If not, even more than before.

Three o clock had rolled around and I grabbed my shoes and jacket. It was still raining but at least it wasn't as heavy. Deja was meant to be visiting in a couple of days so the last thing I wanted to do, was have Avery acting like this in front of her. She loved Avery. Every part of him. He was like her little brother too.

Liz was still awake in the kitchen, waiting for Avery to come home. She worried about us so much and we weren't even her real kids. I wish I hadn't left the way I did.

I walked through the dark streets with my hood up as I searched on my phone for rehab facilities. I knew they were expensive but I decided Iceland could wait till he was better. I had found one that seemed to be nice for teenagers, he'd still have a way to contact me.

I strolled carelessly down the quiet road, no one was around. It was really late so I'd be concerned for whoever was awake at this time. Aka Avery and I.

I knew where he went with the money. The same place he always goes; he's so predictable. As I approached the dark alleyway, I stopped before I turned the corner. I saw a black SUV, sitting across the road. I stared at it for a moment, trying to decide if turning into the alley would be a good idea with a sketchy looking car just sitting there. I wasn't sure if Avery was still around that corner, but I knew I had to check.

I turned the corner slowly, watching the SUV from over my shoulder. I was so distracted by the car, that I didn't see Avery lying on the ground in-front of me until I was next to him.

I took a deep breath as he lay face down, with his hood up. He didn't move an inch. My heart began to pound inside my chest as leaned down. I turned him over, only to realise how mangled his body was. My eyes widened with shock as I stood up and backed away from him. My hand cupped my mouth as I tried not to scream. Tears burned up in my eyes as I saw his lifeless expression. His skin was pale and his body was cold. He had tyre marks over his jacket.

"Avery?" I said quietly, with tears already streaming down my cheeks.
"Avery?" I said again, as I held my chest, trying to comfort my heart which I felt like was breaking in my chest.
"Avery, get up" I pleaded as shook him violently, hoping his eyes would open.
"Please Avery, please!" I begged as I began to sob, quickly pulling out my phone dialling 911.

They answered within seconds.
"Help, I need an ambulance. Please!" I spoke between sobs as I cradled Avery's head. I don't know how the ambulance found us later, I was in too much shock to answer any of the questions.

"Don't leave me here alone!" I spoke as I sobbed into his chest. "I can't do it alone".
"I've always had you, you've always had me. What do I do?" I cried out, hoping someone would answer me. No one ever did.

No matter how hard I wished, I knew he wasn't waking up. I knew I'd never see my brother again.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Avery" I sobbed, running my hand through his hair. It was all my fault. Everything that happened to him was my fault. I couldn't bare it; I couldn't bare the pain. I felt like I was going to die; I couldn't see through my tears and I couldn't breathe between my sobs. I didn't have anybody anymore. I had lost Avery.

"It's my fault, I should've been a better brother to you" I weeped, holding his head to my chest. While holding him I realised that in his last moments, he probably thought I hated him; who he had become. I never hated him, I only ever wanted what was best for him.

"You were asking me for help but I was selfish. I'm sorry" I repeated, the rain now pouring harder than earlier. I stood up in disbelief, Avery is dead; he's gone. I'll never have another conversation, another trip, another problem with him. We'll never laugh or cry together again.

"It's okay Avery, I'll be okay. I know we didn't have it easy, I'll be okay without you. Rest peacefully" I uttered, my tears falling to the floor. I wasn't sure if I was lying, I just didn't want Avery to suffer anymore. We battled everyday since we were born, he was probably just as exhausted as I was. I knew someone took Avery from me.

I stood up suddenly, wiping my tears. I was going to find who killed him and I was going to make them wish they were never born. The ambulance men came from behind me, I didn't even notice them at first. I watched as they lifted my little brothers body from the ground and carried him to the ambulance. They pronounced him dead minutes later.

Avery Anderson, time of death; 3:37 am.

People like to wonder why I'm so cold hearted. Avery changed me forever.