As Cold As Ice

Peaked

Ace and Dante hadn't been the same since their argument. There was tension and I couldn't deal with any of that bullshit right now.

I held my breath as I turned the corner into the coffee shop.

I missed her. I couldn't lie to myself any longer. I did miss her. I couldn't ignore her existence anymore, but I also didn't want to dig up the past.

She was going to hate me. I know exactly what to expect. This is why I have never really dated anyone before. I wasn't sure if she'd want to speak to me after all the things I had done. I kept barging in and out of her life, however I wanted. I didn't think about her when I should've. I have to say I'm sorry; And I have to admit my feelings.

There's no more running from the past. No more trying to avoid what I am or who I am. I love her, and I've loved her for years. I've always been too afraid to say it; but I'll tell her today.

After watching Sofia be ripped from Ace's life, which was his fault but nevertheless, it made me realise we don't have a lot of time with the people we love.

I entered the cafe, and sat at the back corner table. I knew she'd be off work soon. I knew her schedule from hooking up with her before. God, I'm such an ass. Who does that? She'll hate me.
Is this even a good idea?
Maybe I should leave.

Before I could even think, a hand slammed onto the table.

"What are you doing here?" She hissed quietly, making sure none of the customers heard.
"I-I'm sorry", is all I managed to say. The words were stuck in my throat. I wanted to say more but they wouldn't come out. My mouth wouldn't open.
"Get out," she hissed again, walking to another table.

Yikes.

For some reason, I didn't leave. I stayed seated at this table. I don't know what I thought would happen, maybe she'd magically change her mind and decide to come back to me.

"Heyyyy," I heard her say.
"Hey baby," a deep voice mumbled back.

I glanced up to see him peck a kiss on her cheek. I swear I felt my heart crack. She glanced back to me, throwing a uncertain expression my way.

"What are you looking at, babe?" He asked.
"Nothing important."

Her words were like a knife to my chest. I couldn't breathe. I need to leave this shop and never come back. I never want to see her face again.

She thinks she can make a fool of me?

I stormed out of the cafe, without looking at her once.

"Alex," I heard her call my name. I kept walking.
"Alex stop!" She yelled from behind me.
"No." I said, unsure if she even heard me.

I felt her hand pull my shoulder. I turned around and she flinched. I think the expression on my face said everything I needed to say.

"Alex, what did you think would happen? That I'd wait for you for the rest of my life?" She yelled.
"No, but I warned you my life is complicated. I laid it all out for you, and you agreed."
"Alex," she mumbled, her eyes glazed.
"I couldn't wait for someone who didn't want me, the way I wanted them," she uttered, a tear rolling down her cheek. Yet she didn't seem like she was upset, if anything she looked annoyed. Angry. Hurt almost.
"I'm here now though? That counts for something!" I defended and she only shook her head.

"Let me give you some advice Alex."

"I know you've been through a lot but so have I. You act like you don't care with people, even if you do because you're afraid that everyone will be like your mom or dad. You walk all over the people you love without even realising it.
Have you even thought about the possibility that i might have issues too? That you leaving and coming back into my life wouldn't have an affect on me? Did you ever think of the possibility that I could have abandonment issues, anxiety problems and other things that you affect?"

I was speechless. I had never thought of it like that. I only ever wanted to keep her safe.

I went to speak but the words wouldn't come out. I thought for a second, guilt filling my stomach.
"I didn't want you to end up like Avery," I muttered, staring at the floor, unable to look at her as the guilt twisted my heart.
"Alex," she sighed. "Go back to wherever you came from. Come back when you've gotten your shit together."

I held my breath as she walked away, afraid that if I let it out, my heart would shatter. I was so incredibly selfish and I fucked it up with the only girl I've ever loved.

*****
"I fucked up Ace." I ran my hands through my hair.
"Not as bad as me," Ace grumbled. "I'm still trying to make that shit up."
"What do I do?" I asked him, staring at him, hoping he'd come up with an idea.
"Why are you asking me?" He mumbled, blinking at me. Silence passed for a moment.
"Yeah, I don't know actually." I chuckled, rolling my eyes.
"I am the worst person to ask for advice, especially relationships advice," he smiled, checking out his reflection in the mirror before flexing his biceps.
"I'm having a midlife crisis and you're posing in the mirror" I glared.
"It's not my midlife crisis so....." he replied.
"Wow and she called me selfish," I widened my eyes jokingly.

"I'm not selfish," he yelled, becoming really defensive.
"Sureeeee," I said sarcastically before he returned the harshest glare.
"Stand up, Ice," he said suddenly and I knew exactly what he wanted me to do.
"No!" I shouted, stumbling off the bed.
"Come here," he scowled, before I started to sprint out of his room.

He was going to force his chokehold on me. He practices his MMA on Dante or myself if we annoy him. It's quite annoying actually.

"Ask Sofia for advice, she is a girl after all," he yelled down the hallway after peaking his head out of his room.