"mhm. sure you did," felix mocked his friend with tauntingly squinted eyes, walking away hauling a box of returns to the textbooks isles of the library.
little orbs of dust floated peacefully in the sunshiny light of the library, spreading fuzzy warmth to every corner of the old, creaky building. it was midday now, and felix had another long shift; lots of returns and new shipments to sort out. he sometimes wonders where the money for the new books comes from- it's not like the vacant library is the most popular or largest revenue-generating spot on campus.
"you texted me back and told me it was fine!" chan followed behind, whining like a child.
"shut up, idiot, i'm kidding!"
"hmph."
chan reached a hand into the box and began restocking the shelves along with his librarian, hoping to speed the work along so he could head out. he had plans tonight, and he couldn't be late, so he's enjoying shoving books back into the shelves with felix- it gives him a chance to just be by him, and to take a mental note of which books to check out next time around. books and felix seem to be the only things that make him feel less nervous nowadays.
"so, have any books in mind today?"
"no, i'm not here for books actually," chan spoke smoothly, not looking to his left where the other stood listening intently, "just hanging for a minute before i go out."
"you have plans? wow, look at you."
"don't pick on me, i'm doing your job for you right now!"
"fine, fine," felix giggled, grabbing a handful of novels and moving along, "what are you doing, then?"
"i have a date!"
felix's hand clenched around the black spine of the book he was pushing between two authors in the 'j' row, and he felt his body lurch for just a moment, stopping its movement in shock, but he passed it off like nothing happened; he cleared his throat and blinked a few times, in hopes he wouldn't look too caught off guard.
"oh. that's nice. who's the lucky guy?"
"he's an old friend from my middle and high school years. we didn't get along often, but now that we're older we do."
"is he hot?" felix smiled tightly. he felt his lips stretch thin, like his he smiled any wider they'd split open. he was biting bullet after bullet with this conversation.
"not so much hot as he's just cute. he's a pretty boy," chan chuckled, and felix could see a slight pink surfacing on the apples of the boy's cheeks. he hated it.
"well, i hope you have a good time." he nodded stiffly, placing the last of the books on the shelf. he hastily collapsed the cardboard box to recycle later. "thanks for your help."
"of course!" chan wriggled his wrist with his long fingers, holding the face of his watch before exclaiming, "oh, i have to go! i'll be late if i don't get a move on. listen, i'll come back tomorrow and tell you about it, 'kay? when do you start your shift?"
"oh... actually, i don't work tomorrow. i'm off."
"oh. okay. well, i'll text you?"
"yeah, sure," felix forced another smile, this one less convincing than the last. chan didn't notice, though. he isn't the most observant, felix has learned.
"okay, cool. i'm gonna get going. i'll see you soon!"
"bye."
chan hurried out the front door, letting it slam shut behind him and making felix jump. he rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet, clenching his fists before punching his left palm and shaking his head to push away all his emotions he could feel climbing up the back of his throat. with strained eyes and a sore throat, he slid behind the desk and hopped on the computer, checking boxes off his list and searching for something, anything, any kind of work to do to distract him.
he hasn't known him long- he's aware of that. felix has never been the type to jump into friendships with irrational ideas or unrealistic expectations. but he knows that he likes him, and he was for once letting himself get swept away in the early days of having a crush. seeing them, talking shyly, teasing and playing coy; making jokes and sharing little glances. he was allowing himself the liberty of feeling like he'd met someone he could let his guard down around, but now he knows there's no use, because chan just doesn't like him that way. even though it felt like he did. maybe he could have, if this other guy wasn't in the picture.
chan is going on a date, and it's not with him. and if it's not with him now, then the chances of it ever being with him are very slim to none, felix concludes.
the librarian clicked mindlessly away at the computer, impatiently wasting away the last dragging hours of his shift so he could go home and sleep away all the tiny little pests that were biting at him from the inside out, making him itch with feelings he didn't want to let out.
i have nothing to do so i might as well finish this book, also u guys wanna guess who the guy chan is on a date with?
Ups! Gambar ini tidak mengikuti Pedoman Konten kami. Untuk melanjutkan publikasi, hapuslah gambar ini atau unggah gambar lain.
