Kaden Graham Harrison.
His world is home to billionaires, future presidents, models and children of diplomats.
People who had the power to rule the world before they were even born. He can buy himself everything with the snap of his fingers.
Booze...
I hope you had a great day today and if not, I promise you there will be better times.
Have fun reading and always remember that you are amazing and enough.
I love you, bye.
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I needed exactly 3 days to get over my depressive episode after getting shitfaced at Kaden's apartment.
After I left him, shot followed after shot as suddenly a wave of sadness overcame me. Every time I only sober up a little it happens. I get so depressed that every drink that is near me has to be mine and so I crossed my tolerance line by miles. I have no idea what happened and I begged Emmabell to not tell me because I can't know. I really can't.
When I woke up I was just embarrassed but instead of a headache like most people have after such a night I was just filled with sadness until I felt like there are no other emotions in the world. I tried to sleep but I couldn't because I overthought everything. Every word I said-every word I remember saying. I wanted to cry but as I felt my heart screaming in my chest, no sounds left my mouth. Like my body wanted to punish me by keeping all the pain inside me.
On the second day, I felt better... I went on campus and tried to remind me that people here don't know me. They don't know who I was growing up and that I can always change the way they see me to a more positive view. I reminded myself that I have a chance.
On the third day the acceptance came-it honestly really felt like grieving. I know there are billions of people on this earth and there are at least a thousand who feel the same way after drinking too much alcohol on a wrong day but I have never met anyone who would've understood this. I know I am a drama queen but I can't help it. My brain makes everything just so much more complicated.
Now on day four, I am again on campus and... I feel better. Probably because I have my first creative writing class and I couldn't be more excited. Some part of me tells me that I won't be good enough, the other tells me tomorrow I will feel sad again but I have hope. Hope that there will still be great days that don't lead to an overwhelming phase.
