TASTE OF FREEDOM - AZRIEL'S MATE (ACOTAR)

Chapter 9: Little by little

Sharing the facts of her life with Amren brought a sense of relief that surprised her. She always thought that talking about everything that had happened would be a type of torture and it would make the other person look at her with different eyes... But that felt more peaceful than she expected - normal even.

Amren didn't treat her any differently or change with Raven. The older one still had that usual behavior, but soon the other one got used to it. Visits took place almost every night and went on for weeks.

Gradually, Amren helped Raven to understand the behavioral traits caused by the trauma of everything that had been done to her. And there were many...

Raven had never understood that her anxiety and nervousness of being around people was trauma. She noticed, only after Amren mentioned it, that her opinion of herself was totally negative, as if there was nothing good about her.

The proportion of how much was taken from her and how much it still affected her felt like a stone on her head, but in a way, it was a little relieving. She never felt normal, always knew she hadn't had a normal life, but never knew how...

Amren was the first one who really pointed things out and showed Raven a path that could help her to move forward, to get better. The work the two were doing by meeting up most nights began much more as psychological support.

The conversations helped Raven perceive the reality around her without fears blinding her. And little by little, she was taking courage and getting better at realizing what she really liked, what her desires and wishes were.

Weeks passed and she dedicated more and more to physical training with Azriel and mental training with Amren. However, the power inside Raven didn't show as it had the first time in that episode with Cassian.

They tried every technique Amren knew and nothing worked. The older female tried not to show how frustrated she was, so she focused on the books that could help her discover something that might clarify what was inside the other female.

Raven tried to look through the books in the Library between breaks from work. She asked the priestesses, - well, at least the most receptive ones and so, she was also exercising the way of interacting with other people.

Nervousness was almost nonexistent within her during conversations, but she still paid close attention to what she would say next. A hard habit to kill.

Everyone noticed the changes in Raven and knew that even if the meetings with Amren weren't helping to unlock her power, at least they were helping her face the demons of her past and it was worth it.

It was hard to understand that she was safe now and that she was learning how to defend herself, but she had that certainty inside, telling her she would make it. So when she arrived at the Wind House practice area that morning, she smiled at Cassian, Nesta, and Azriel.

Her heart pounded wildly when she looked at the Shadowsinger, as it always did and again, she completely ignored the messy beats. As she positioned herself in her usual place to begin the warm-ups, the priestesses arrived and took their places as well.

Gradually, the training took shape and Raven felt the sensations of calm and strength that always washed over her during the sessions. She could feel the pair of bright hazel eyes turning towards her every now and then.

It was as if she could feel Azriel looking at her even though she wasn't facing him. Not responding to the gaze or losing the rhythm of the exercises was extremely difficult. Raven was sure a lot of her sweating was from the effort of keeping her concentration on the workout and not on him.