Stay Tuned

Chapter 47

After my long talk with Chris, I tossed and turned throughout the night. On and off, I dreamed of Mother and her notebook, Chris and his job, Alyssa and Tim in the studio.

About the time I drifted off into a deep sleep, the morning light streaked through the window. I pulled the covers over my head, hit snooze for the third time, and clutched my pillow a little tighter. Then I remembered.

My doctor’s appointment!

I flew out of bed, light-headed. Did I have time to eat? Was I late? How late?
              
While I hated to go in and be told I was being a hypochondriac, even worse was the thought that something might actually be wrong with me. That alone propelled me out the door faster than a jackrabbit chased by a pack of wolves.

All to hurry up and wait.

An hour later, after being weighed and measured, I sat drumming my fingers on the exam table. In nothing but a paper gown, I stared at a huge chart of the female reproductive system. Contraceptive companies displayed fancy pill packs on the counter behind me.

Dr. Freeman knocked and whisked into the room before I could say, “Come in.” She peered over her wire-rimmed glasses at me, smiled, and sat down.

“Hi Melissa. Good to see you.” She ran a finger down my chart. “So, you’re thirty-nine, your weight’s fine, blood pressure is normal. Tell me what’s going on.” She leaned back and tapped her pen against the counter. “You’ve had a bit of trauma lately, I’ve heard.”

I rolled my eyes. “You could say that. On top of it all, I’ve been having nausea and stomach cramps.”
Dr. Freeman tucked a stray hair behind her ear. “When was your last cycle?”
 
“I don’t remember. A month or two? I’m pretty irregular.”

Dr. Freeman gave me a funny look, then waved a hand. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Tell me about the nausea.”
 
“Sometimes when I eat, sometimes before I eat. Doesn’t seem to be triggered by any foods in particular. Just comes on all of a sudden.”

“In the mornings?”

I thought back. “No, different times.”

“Are you having any breast tenderness? Sharp pain in your abdomen?”

“None that I can think of.”

Dr. Freeman scribbled in my chart, her pen like lightning across the page. “Are you tired a lot of the time?”

“Sure. Comes with the job.”

“And I already know your stress level is way too high.” Dr. Freeman adjusted her glasses. “You may need to find a way to relieve some of that or it’ll take a toll on you.”

“Right. My best friend swears by Pilates and yoga.”

“That’d be great. Get her to exercise with you. It’s always better with someone there to push you along. Encourage you.” Dr. Freeman set down my chart and snapped on a pair of latex gloves. “Now lie back and let’s take a look at what’s going on.”

She chattered away while I stared at the ceiling.

In a flash, she peeled off her gloves, threw them in the trash, and stood up. “Melissa, I have some suspicions, but I’m going to run a few blood tests before we talk about anything.”

My paper gown crinkled as I sat up. A slight amount of panic flickered in my heart.

“I’m also going to have them run a pregnancy test, just in case.”

Pregnancy test?
 
Dr. Freeman caught the surprised look on my face. “Don’t worry.”

“Oh, I’m not worried,” I scoffed, but the hairs on my neck stood at attention.

Dr. Freeman smiled, then rushed out the door. It clicked shut.

Off the table, I crumpled the paper gown into a ball and got dressed. My mind whirled like a carousel.

Images of down-soft blankets and smocked dresses paraded through my brain.

I’ve always wanted a brother or sister for Kelly. How will Chris take it? How will I?

The phlebotomist was ready and waiting when I arrived. Three tubes of blood later, I went back to the waiting room. There, I was surrounded by moms-to-be, all glowing with the flush of pregnancy. A few new parents hovered over brand new infant carriers, looking nervous.

It all took me back to when Kelly was a newborn, how tiny she was, and how perfect. I loved her from the moment I saw her. In that moment, the world vanished, leaving only me, Chris, and our amazing, beautiful baby girl.

Wouldn’t it be crazy if I were pregnant again? How lucky I would be?

After another agonizing fifteen minutes, Dr. Freeman beckoned me into her office.

“Well, there’s good news. Your blood work is normal. No infection. Your thyroid is normal, iron levels are normal. Everything’s really good.” Dr. Freeman paused, pushed her glasses back, and glanced up at me from the paper.

“And what about…” I didn’t even want to say the word. I pressed my palms to my knees to keep my hands from quivering. “The other test?”

“Nothing to worry about,” said Dr. Freeman. “It came back negative.” She offered me a kind, sympathetic look. “You’re not pregnant.”