10. Kiss and Tell

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After an hour of wandering the alleys, watching the evening shadows stretch along the carved walls and lanterns being lightened along the balconies, I find myself in a deserted corner of the orchard, and drop to sit under one of countless passion fruit trees.

The evening is peaceful, yet I still can't stop thinking. All shamans are treacherous like Valto, I keep repeating to myself. You can't possess a godlike power and not to deem yourself a god, right? Yet Jaya and Yaling are quite compassionate and supportive...Damn.

And Loretto faerself never actually treated me like an undeserving plainblood, never tried to directly harm me: the knife in faer hand was pressed with its flat side against my neck; when I started a fight with Valto, it was Loretto who was quick to suggest I should clean up the mess as my punishment--that is a small price to pay, considering that for my previous outburst of violence I got cuffed, isn't it? More than that, Loretto healed the cut on my temple when I was at faer rooms. Promised to hurt me if I tried to steal something again, sure, but...I would've done the same if somebody tried to steal from me.

Oh, gods. I sigh, stretching my legs and pressing the back of my head against the rough tree bark. It's not helping. Another minute, and I'll actually start liking that cocky grace of a teacher. I've been rightfully at odds with shamans for my whole life, yet now I'm here, listening to the evening breeze and convincing myself not to make a shaman friend. And I've spent just a couple of weeks in Tik'al! What will happen in a month? I'll fall in love with one of them?

"Hey, stranger."

Startled, I jerk my head sideways to see a girl approaching me between the trees. She's wearing a simple shirt and pants today, not her red robe, but I recognize her immediately. The counselor's niece. She looks no more than twenty, but her uncle is as old as the empress, so now I can't help but wonder if she is not the way she seems.

"A quietly nice place you found here. Might wanna check out the Great Temple's roof sometime too, then. The air is fresher there, the sky clearer." The setting sun painting her dark hair reddish, she sits down on the ground beside me. "You're Elisey, right? Tayen's student?"

"Yeah. And you?"

She only smiles. "I'm the eyes and the ears of this place. How are you enjoying Tik'al so far? I've heard you've got into...an incident with another mentee recently, thought you might use someone to talk to. Do you need any help with studying? Is your teacher any trouble?"

That's nice of her to think so. But she's suspiciously interested in my teacher. Perhaps she thinks I'm the closest thing Loretto has to a friend, to someone fae might confide in, and the councilor sent her to pry my teacher's secrets. But I still remember how worried Loretto looked in the cafeteria once, after talking to her. And if there's anyone here I trust even less than Loretto, it's the empress councilor Tikhon. So that's it? I'm a part of the shamans' game of power now? "No trouble. Best teacher ever."

She looks at me for a long moment, dubious. "And yet, you're sulking here, lonely."

"It's just my face, always looks sulking. But I feel quite alright by myself, thanks."

"I see." She glances away, fixing a strand of her hair behind her ear, but doesn't leave. Somehow, when she sat down on the ground beneath my tree, she made it look casual, but now I realize she's too close to me. Her shoulder almost brushes mine. Among shamans, it is bad manners to sit close to each other in public--they value their personal space a lot, so the way she acts is...daring.

We spend a few minutes in silence, and I don't know how to pull to sit a step away from her without making it obvious. Her tanned skin and high cheekbones and full lips go prettily together, so I guess I should be flattered by her interest in me, and yet pretty girls rarely find me compelling enough at first sight, so it also makes me anxious.

At last, as the last rays of the sun hide behind the Great Temple, she makes a move as if beginning to rise to her feet. "Well, I should probably go," she says. "But if you need any help, at any time." Before rising, though, she leans even closer. "Or someone to talk to, or if you get bored..." Her hand rests on my thigh, seemingly accidentally so as to catch her balance. Yet her palm is way too near to the spot of my thigh, which I wouldn't prefer to be touched without asking.

Involuntarily, my muscles tense as though sensing danger.

Her brown eyes gaze into mine. "I'll be honest, Elisey, I'm not into that flirty relationship thing, you know?" she asks, her voice sugary. "But I do have a warm bed I'm willing to share when I'm bored, cariño."

Cariño. Sweetheart? I stare at her, stupefied. Did she just invite me to--? Wow. Just that simply? I knew, of course, that shamans are of free spirit and loose morals, but...I don't know. I guess Kofi would've loved that kind of a date, but I just don't find strangers appealing enough. Besides, she sees me for the third time in her life and talks to me for the first time, what if I'm a bad person? Or she doesn't care if I'm good or bad. Or I'm some sort of exotica to her, a plainblood with abilities, a zoo animal for an adventure.

I refuse to be anyone's zoo animal.

"Thanks, but I prefer sleeping alone." I jerk my leg away from under her touch. My word and my motion both come out ruder than I planned, and her smile falls away as if I've insulted her.

"Okay. Sorry for making you blush." She stands up and turns to leave just as quickly as she arrived. Without any final word, and now I feel bad for turning her down like this.

"And how am I to find you if...I do get bored?"

A smile blossoming on her lips again, she glances at me over her shoulder in the shadows. "Ask for Maricela. I'm not the last person in Tik'al, so every guard knows a way to my chambers. Because I'm always guarded, of course."

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It seems the universe doesn't want me calm today, because wherever I go, I either learn something troubling or meet someone troubling. The night has already veiled the world when I make my way back to the Postulant House, and thankfully, nobody else tries to invite me to share their bed.

I'm not the last person in Tik'al, Maricela's words echo in my head as I cross the common room. What did she even mean? Just wanted to charm me by intriguing? Or her uncle's position in court makes her influential, too? Maybe she could be my ally in the city of shamans, then. She is also a shaman, sure, but nobody survives alone, and I do need a friend around here to at least pretend to fit in; she might be the safest choice. And I could use her to learn some secrets of the court. But if I let her use me in order to use her myself...I'm selling myself like a whore Valto called me.

As I approach the door of my room, it's ink black and quiet, and there're no sounds behind it. I guess Valto is smart enough not to take any more chances against me and my lamp. Without turning the lights on, I push the door open and walk in, unbuttoning my shirt, lazily considering whether I'm too tired to take a cold shower right now or not. The others will go studying with their mentors in the morning, and I'll have the bathroom to myself anyway, so...With that thought, I fumble in the murk, groping for the book I've left on the bed to put it away and just go to sleep.

Instead of the book, something wet smears my fingers. Surprised, I yank my hand away, instinctively wiping my fingers on my shirt, and then my eyes, adjusted to the shadows, notice that whatever was spilled here shines on the floor as well. My first alarming thought is aura. What if Valto decided to take his revenge on me by pouring it everywhere and then accusing me of making a mess in the morning?

But aura would have burned my fingers. And I don't feel any pain. If it's his piss...

Fuming, I switch the desk lamp on. And freeze midbreath as bright redness flickers before my eyes. Blood. Fear knots my stomach when I see the blood smearing the floor and the blanket and--the body sprawled in an unnatural for a living person pose on my bed.

Valto is dead.

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