Gods & Thieves

24. Spy and Ally

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They're gonna hate me.

This thought won't leave my head for the rest of the day. How did I fail to realize this at once? If my family learns I'm a shaman, they won't look at me the same ever again. Shamans are power-hungry, treacherous, and vile; shamans live within their luxurious walls of Tik'al, dictating the rules only they themselves benefit from and taking away plainbloods' liberties. We'll stop shamans, at any cost, the words my brothers Cale and Kofi like to repeat echo in my head as I stare at the half-finished chicken stew on my plate.

I'm alone at the table, so there's nobody to tell me to relax. Loretto sits at the other end of the crowded cafeteria, because no other mentees dine with their mentors, and how will it look if I do? I already draw too much attention.

I've been so obsessed with learning magic in these last two weeks, I absolutely forgot about my life before arriving in Tik'al, I keep thinking. I forgot even that I was supposed to pretend to learn. Played a shaman student so well that really became one. Funny. But my family won't find it funny. Will Cale even listen to me while I try to explain what Loretto explained to me? That plainbloods and aurabloods are actually one and the same, and all our feuds are a huge misunderstanding? Will Kofi believe me if I tell him that not all shamans are as hypocritical as those doctors who let his father die? He'll probably be more willing to believe those very doctors gave me a lobotomy.

And if I show them I can control aura, Ma and Mom will decide I've gone mad. Like my great-granduncle. Now it occurs to me that maybe my great-granduncle killed himself, because he couldn't bear the truth, not madness--that he tried to share with people, tried to stop the bloodshed, and nobody listened.

How am I to be both a shaman and a rebel at the same time, then? How am I to become who I want to become without losing who I was?

My appetite ruined, I rise to my feet to shuffle back to the apartments and just go to sleep before my head begins to hurt from thinking, but suddenly, I notice a familiar pair of eyes watching me from behind the glasses.

Faris.

My sister Ariane's boyfriend looks at me through the craved window, standing in the dark outside, away from the lanterns illuminating the stone street, but he's still too visible for being good at spying. And he can't be a spy, I snigger at myself, he's an alchemy student--a plainblood. But plainbloods, except for the guards and servants, aren't allowed to stay on the holy shaman ground of Tik'al at night. The very next second, the memory of Faris's secret meeting with some councilor I accidentally witnessed at the library surfaces in my mind.

Did he bargain with the councilor for special privileges? Panic twists at my guts. What did he offer in return, then? As our eyes meet and Faris turns and hurries away, deeper into the shadows.

My panic spikes with a new wave. Ariane can't know much about our brother's plans for a coup, but she still knows something. If Faris betrayed her and told that something to the councilor...I should've talked to this double-faced bastard right away. And if he saw me channeling aura today and betrays me to siblings tomorrow? I can't reveal my powers to my family, not like that.

Leaving my dirty plates on the table, I head outside after Faris.

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Following Faris's figure through the maze of evening alleys merged in lantern glow, I soon enter a narrow one, which I've never walked before. There are no lanterns here, only whispering, lazy wind. Shadows keep closing around, I'm somewhat halfway through it, when it gets too dark to see properly.