To Rebuild a Mageocracy

Twenty-Seven

^^ Wyatt Sr. ^^

— Earth, New York City, Anitra —

Wyatt stared at the screen for a few minutes, frowning severely, before shaking his head. "Ferkacte scamma's, not lettin up a second... ignore it, Emma, don't even botha with 'em!"

"But what if it's-"

"Don't botha, I said! Don't even think about it! You know how she is, she woulda said somethin' by now if she was still around, alright? We already had the funeral and everythin'!"

"Well, that's too bad, funerals are expensive! Anyways, long story short I kinda got kidnapped? But I'm alright, I'm adjusting to the new state of things. If ya wants some proof, Wyatt, I'll tell Emma stories about how you pissed yaself when I wore the Krampus Costume and jumped out the closet at ya, when you was eight."

He paused in his grumpy muttering, turning to look at the screen again, and then flinched and fell backwards out of his chair when I turned on the Skype, showing him my face. "Fuckin'-god-shit!!! DAMMIT LAURA!!!"

I smirked, examining my nails innocently. "Who, me? What'd little old me do? Why, I'm just entirely out of the loop!!!"

Still struggling to stand back up, he bellowed at the screen, shaking his fist at me. "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN YOU IRRITATING SHMUCK?!?"

"Funny story, like I said, I sorta got kidnapped accidentally on purpose? Anyway, it's not really important, justice is done mostly, everything is settled or getting there on my side, and now I have a stable, secure connection to talk to you guys! How's the kids?"

Wyatt sighed, slumping down into the chair he'd finally righted, covering his face to hide his watering eyes. "... ah, you know kids... they're fine after a few days of moping... but Junior has been in a fuckin' tizzy the whole time, kept saying he saw you get took by some golden light... I told him he just fell asleep while he was working."

"Funny story... Little Wyatt was right? That's exactly what happened. Long story short, Magic is Real and I'm a Wizard."

He sighed slowly, massaging his temples. "Okay... I'm going to let this play out, because I know you're weird and you like playing with people."

"No, that's it. That's the story. I got kidnapped by a Wizard, turned out to be a mistaken identity thing, so he gave me a grimoire as an apology, and now I'm a whole-ass Wizard. Want me to prove it?"

"... sure. Go ahead."

I grinned and ordered the 3D Printer to create a small bobble head in my image, laser-etching a set of Golem Enchantments into it so I could control it directly. Once it was complete, I controlled it, jumping it off the Printer and crawling it up his leg like a haunted poltergeist, laughing evilly as he screamed like a little girl and kicked it away. "Mwahahahahahaha, Nyah, I'll get you, He-Man, Nyah!!!"

He paused in his screaming, staring at the little golem bobble head that was flipping him off, and sat down slowly. "Wait, hold up... you're serious?"

The golem flipped him double birds, laughing again like Chucky. "Serious as a bullet wound, dork! How you like me now?!? I'm a Wizard before you, little bro, as is right!"

Wyatt groaned long-sufferingly, palming his face in irritation. "You little shit... okay, let's say I believe you-"

"Don't be sore, little bro, I'm the eldest, I get to be a Wizard first, that's totally fair!!!"

"Don't make me call Ma and ask her opinion on it, considering you called me before her!" He grinned viciously as I silenced myself, frowning at him. "Anyway, say I believe you, why aren't you coming back?"