Adventures in Whiplash Training

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[Open on the Owl House living room. Luz is reading a pamphlet about Hexside, labeled "Hexside Facts and Trivia." It has a picture of Principal Bump on the back along with his quote, "Education is the real magic." while Lena is reading about 'The Silver Maiden.']

Luz: King, listen to this!

King: [Laying on Luz's stomach.] Hey! Less ready, more scratchy!

Luz: [Sits up.] Sorry! Now that I'll be a student at Hexside, I wanna learn all about it! I've got a new crush, and her name is Education!

Lena: Easy for you to say. I'm learning about why I'm called the Silver Maiden now.

King: [Bites the pamphlet.] Nyah!

Eda: [Kicks the front door open.] Hey, freeloaders! Guess what today is?

Luz: Is it your birthday?

King: Is it my birthday?

Hooty: It's my birthday!

Lena: It is? Happy Birthday Hooty!

Hooty: Thank you Lena.

Eda: No! [Closes front door.] It's human treasure day!

Lena: I'll stay with Hooty.

Eda: Okay. If you say so.

[Eda tosses the into the air. It unfolds and opens. flies through, dragging a giant sack. The sack tears when he flips it onto the floor, revealing a pile of human garbage. The door closes.]

Eda: [Hops onto the pile.] Ahh, fresh garbage.

King: Ooo, gimme, gimme, gimme! [Pulls out a teddy bear.] Yes! Another worthy addition to my army of terror!

New Guy: I love cuddles and kisses!

King: Truly horrifying!

Eda: [To Luz, who's still reading.] Yo, kid. Your trash pile's getting cold. While mine's getting hot! [Pulls out a wire clothes hangar.] I have never seen such an extravagant earring.

Luz: You can have my trash. Whoa! Did you know that Hexside was built on the bones of its ? One it literally conquered!

[Luz shows off the pamphlet, showing a picture of a much younger Principal Bump standing on various Glandus students, being cheered on by fellow Hexside students. The school burns behind them.]

Eda: [Now wearing two clothing hangars as earrings and looking in a mirror.] Yes, I know all these things, I went there. It was the most harrowing period of my life. [To her reflection.] Oh, hello.

Luz: Can you imagine it! Me, in the halls of Hexside, studying with and and—maybe even..... 

Lena: Amity? 

Luz: How did you know Lena?

Lena: I don't know. But, I somehow read your mind.

Luz: Oh cramity! We're supposed to meet so I can get my back! [Runs out, slams door; reopens door.] I love you guys!

Hooty: And I love you, Lu—!

[Luz slams the door again while Lena chases her.]

Hooty: Aaah!

Eda: Eh, who needs them?

King: Yeah! This bear could be our new Luz. But, I still like Lena. That purple lady.

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