Ratneshwari

Chapter 16

(A few days later)

As usual, Shivan avoided talking to Ratneshwari. After that night, he was not able to look into her eyes.

It was midnight. Shivan was not able to sleep. He tried and tried. But whenever he closed his eyes, he could only see 'her eyes'. Those red eyes, filled with tears, agony and disbelief. He turned to the other side and saw Ratneshwari. She was sleeping beside him. By looking at her eyes he concluded that, she had been crying for a long time. Continuous crying had drained her strength and she had fallen asleep. There was no one to wipe her tears.Her tears had dried up in her eyes. Her face was still wet.

Shivan got up from the bed and stood at the balcony. He looked at the night sky. It was dark. But was it darker than his heart? He did not know. He only knew that he cannot lie to that woman whose seemingly lifeless body was lying on his bed. He cannot love her. That was the truth. It was hard for her. But she will be able to accept the truth with time. Time, that will be taken. But will that be the only thing that will be taken? He did not want to know.

He went to the kitchen to drink some water. After doing so, he went to the drawing room and sat there.

Ratneshwari was sleeping. But, she was not able to sleep peacefully. Old nightmares had started haunting her again. But this time, they had come with something new - new nightmares. Old nightmares for old fears, new nightmares for the new fears. But which nightmare disturbed her that night?

Ratneshwari was standing on a deserted road. Wind was blowing. She started hearing some strange noises. She could see some hooded figures. It was 'them'. 'They' had come again. She turned around and saw Shivan. He was standing near her. She was relieved. But, she was scared. She held one of his hands. Then, the hooded people disappeared.

Shivan looked at her. She had tears in her eyes. She said, "I love you. Don't ever leave me." But he freed his hand. Ratneshwari was not prepared for that. She started to panick. She was shivering. Shivan said, "I donot love you. I cannot be yours." After saying this, he walked away. Ratneshwari was sobbing. She started to run after him. 'The people' started approaching her. Shivan was also going far. She wanted Shivan. So, she ran behind him. She ran and ran and ran. She ran as fast as she could but could not reach him. He had disappeared, she did not know where. 'The people' appeared before her. She uttered these words, "No no no ...... go away..... just go away...... He's mine......He will not leave me....... He will not leave me." One among the hooded people, lifted a dagger. He lifted his dagger to attack her.

Ratneshwari woke up with a jolt. She did not know what was happening. She was shivering and crying. She said, "You can't go away. You are mine, just mine. No one can take you away from me. You can't leave me alone." It was about 2:30 am. She saw Shivan who was sleeping beside her. She looked at him and said, "You are mine, just mine." A tear escaped from her eye.

She fell asleep again.

Shivan woke up the next morning. He found the bed empty. He took bath and had his breakfast. Ratneshwari kept looking at him. She did not say anything.

Shivan did not leave for work that morning. Ratneshwari saw him sitting in the drawing room. She said to him, "You're still here?" He said, "I will go at 1:00 pm." Ratneshwari was about to leave when Shivan called her. He said, "Ratna, I need to talk to you." Ratneshwari nodded her head and stood near him. He looked at her.

"Look Ratna, you need to listen to me. Be patient. Please!"

"Okay"

"I can't love you and you know that very well. We are going to take a divorce next year. So....."

"No....."

Ratneshwari screamed at the top of her voice. She was crying. Shivan tried to calm her.

"Listen.... Ratna....see...I .... know"

"Noooooooo..You can't leave me like this. What have I done? You can't do this. You are my husband. You married me and now you have to accept me as your wife."

"Try to understand"

"I won't"

"But I love Sheetal. I don't love you."

"Why? What's the problem with me? I am your wife. Why can't you accept me? Who is Sheetal to you? But I am your wife!"

"I love her."

"And me? Why not me? You love her and I should divorce you for the sake of your feelings. But what about my feelings? My expectations? I am your wife. Why can't you accept me? What is missing in my love?"

"You are not trying to understand."

Shivan was trying to calm her. But she had lost all her patience. She screamed at him.

"Why should I? Why should I try to understand? You are MY husband. I love you and I will stay with you."

Ratneshwari ran to the bedroom. She locked the door and started crying. She wiped her tears. There was a photo of Shivan which was hanging on the wall. Looking at the photo, she said, "I love you. I will always love you. Why don't you understand? Why do you want to send me away? Please, I don't want to go anywhere. I want to live with you. I want you. I want your love. I will love you. We will be a happy couple. We will have children and we will be a happy family. Why don't you understand? Why? I need your love. I can't live without you." Then, she took the photo in her hands. She hugged it and cried.

Shivan was sitting there. He was confused. Just then, his phone rang. He received the call.

"Hello"

"Hello! What's the matter?"

"Sheetal....."

"You're crying? What happened?

"I don't know what to do......"

"Listen, stop crying. Don't cry like this. Please...."

"I talked to her about divorce. She is not trying to understand. I don't want to talk to her. She was screaming and crying. She says that she loves me. She wants to live with me. I can't see her crying like this. I don't know what to do....."

"Just calm down. Stop crying. We will find a way. Are you listening? Hello? Hello?"

(Call disconnected)