Ratneshwari

Chapter 40

"I don't want to die. I want to live with you.", these words were ringing inside Shivan's head. One week had passed. Shivan was not able to forget the words of his miserable wife. He was afraid. He was afraid of losing her. But the fear of the loss was not more than the fear of seeing his wife, dying in pain.

Oh cruel fate! Was this necessary? Oh merciful Lord of the heavens! Why did you not show any mercy on this woman?

Shivan was having his lunch at a canteen. It was near the hospital. A young boy who looked barely sixteen, entered the canteen. His face had the radiance of Gods. But he did not have a leg. He was walking with the help of crutches. He sat at the table where Shivan was sitting.

The boy called the waiter and said,"I will eat biryani." The waiter brought biriyani for him. After sometime, a man came looking for that boy. When the man saw the boy, he walked up to him. He said,"Chinna, what are you doing here? You took money from me and came here directly. Why are you eating Biriyani here and at this hour?" The boy looked at him and said,"When I asked for money from you, you did not object. If you had not given me money, I would not have come here. Anyways, you are going to attend Nithya Akka's marriage. You and Amma will take Anna with you. Not me. Why? Because I am handicapped. You never take me anywhere. Do I not feel like having Biriyani outside the house?" The man did not say anything further. The boy finished his food and walked away with his father after paying the bill.

Shivan went to the hospital. The doctor wanted to talk to him.

"Doctor, how is she? How much time will she take to recover?"

"Mr Shivan. I want to be honest with you. Your wife will not recover. We have done whatever we could. If you want, we can keep her here for some more days, but it is useless. I advise you to take her home. If she goes home, she will feel good. Love her and take care of her. Atleast, she will be able to die in peace."

"When can I take her home?"

"You can take her today if you want."

Shivan left the doctor's cabin with tears. He leaned on the hospital wall and cried. He was left all alone. There was no one to wipe his tears. So, he wiped his tears himself.

He went to Ratneshwari's cabin. She was awake. She smiled when she saw Shivan. Shivan tried hard to stop his tears in front of her. He kissed her forehead. He said to her,"Ratna, we will go home today." Ratneshwari said,"Home?" Shivan forced a smile on his lips. He caressed her forehead and said,"Yes, we will go home. You are going to be fine very soon. We will go home now. You will have to take rest. A few months later, you will have to come for chemotherapy again. Then, you will be cured completely." Ratneshwari's face beamed with happiness.

They reached home at night. Ratneshwari was very happy. She said to Shivan,"It is like a dream. God heard my prayers. He gave me another chance. Now, I can live with you." Shivan looked at her but did not say anything. That night, Ratneshwari slept hugging Shivan.

(Two weeks later)

Shivan washed the dishes after they had their breakfast. He came back to his room and saw Ratneshwari looking at the mirror.

"What happened, Ratna? Why are you so sad?"

"I have lost all my hair. I look horrible. You will not like me in this way."

"Who said that? You are beautiful! Don't say such things!"

"I know that you are lying so that I don't feel disheartened."

"My love, sometimes a piece of glass shines more than gold. Does it degrade the value of gold? For me, your hair does not matter. I have you. That is enough."

Shivan kissed her head. He got ready for work. Then, he gave some instructions to the maid and left.

(The same evening)

Shivan returned home and went to his bedroom. Ratneshwari was lying on the bed. She was looking at the ceiling and thinking something deeply. Shivan approached her. She looked at the door when she heard the footsteps. Shivan sat at the edge of the bed. Ratneshwari smiled at him. Shivan smiled at her and said,"What happened? Do you want to say something?" Ratneshwari said,"I like to stare at your face. I had always liked to do that. You are so handsome. I like your moustache a lot. Your smile is so beautiful. Your eyes are enchanting." Shivan leaned and kissed her lips. She kissed him back.

He said to her,"I have brought something for you." Shivan smiled on seeing the excitement in her eyes. He said,"Let me freshen up. Then, I will show the gift to you." Shivan came back after freshening up. He showed her a packet and asked her to open it. There was a wig in the packet. Shivan made her wear the wig. Then he lined her eyes with kohl. He took the lipstick from the dressing table and applied it on her lips. When he was done, he brought a hand mirror and asked Ratneshwari to see her reflection on it. He said,"Look here! You look so beautiful." Ratneshwari looked at her reflection. She liked her wig. Shivan called the maid and asked her how Ratneshwari looked. The maid said to Ratneshwari,"Madam, you are looking very beautiful. Your eyes are looking very beautiful after applying kohl."

Then, Shivan fed Ratneshwari with his own hands. After coming from the hospital, Shivan always fed her with his own hands. He wanted to feed her. Perhaps, it was a way of calming the storm that was raging in his heart.

After having the dinner, Shivan was busy with some official works. He went to bed at 10 o'clock. Ratneshwari was awake. He said to her,"Why did you not sleep?" She said,"I don't know the reason. But I am feeling strange." Shivan caressed her head.

"Shiv, I want to say something. Will you get angry?"

"Not at all, Ratna. Tell me."

"Years ago, I saw one of your photos. It was clicked during your college days. It was Sheetal's birthday party. I saw that you were playing a guitar. Do you still have that guitar?"

"I have it."

"I saw that you were playing it for Sheetal. I was jealous because no one had ever played a guitar or sung a song for me. I don't know the reason why I remembered it today. Shiv, can you play the guitar for me?"

"Sure. I am going to bring the guitar."

Shivan went to the other room to bring the guitar. He had not played the guitar for months.

He had never played his guitar in front of Ratneshwari. But when she left, it became his friend once again. He cleaned the guitar and tuned it.

When he entered the room with the guitar, he saw a glow on Ratneshwari's face.

He sat near her and said,"So now, I am going to play this wonderful guitar for my dear Ratna."

He played the guitar and sang the song 'Edo Priyaragam'. When he finished singing the song, he kept the guitar carefully on the table. Ratneshwari said to him,"You have a lovely voice."
Shivan kissed her forehead and said,"It is already late. Now sleep."

He lied down beside her. He hugged her and said,"Ratna, my gem, my most precious treasure, my sun and my moon, my love and my breath, I never leave your side even if it is just for a moment. When I close my eyes, I see you. When I am away from home, I feel you in my heart. Never go away from me."

She fell asleep in his embrace. Shivan looked at her face once again before falling asleep.