What happens backstage

3. Taking a break

VICTORIA:
It had been nearly two months since the concert and the boys were off touring around Europe. Julia and Liam spoke nearly everyday and she seemed so happy even though she missed him. Two weeks after they left Liam had asked her to be his girlfriend and she was beyond excited. They werent out to the public or anything, but they stayed faithful and was more in love then I had ever seen anyone. My mind flickered to Harry once again, as she went on and on about the latest show the boys had done. Somehow I couldn't forget the energy between us on that last night og the dark look in his eyes when I accidently checked him out in his boxers. I could still sense his hug and the way his curls had tickled me when he had buried his head in my neck. It had left me longing for more but he had dissapeared into his room before I could do anything about it. Liam, Louis, Julia and I had emptied out the minibar before I had taken a cab home, alone. Julia had spent the night with Liam. Louis had flirted a bit but I didnt feel like it, even though the sex had been great the previous night. He didn't seem to take it to heart when I rejected his invitation back to his own room, and I had felt relieved. He had been a dream come true, but we were never more than a one time thing.

Turning my attention back to Julia who still talked about every detail from her late night talk with Liam, I tried to focus but got lost once again when she mentioned that Harry's white t-shirt had been soaked during one of their notorious water fights on stage. The thought of his bare abs and tattoos, glistening from the water and his wet curls being thrown back with a flick of his head had me gasping. Julia looked confused at me. "Vicki, are your okay?" She asked conserned. How was I supposed to answer that? "Yeah, I'm fine" i said as calmly as possible and send her a small smile. She didn't seem to buy it unfortunately. "Do you still think of Louis sometimes?" She asked and I had to hold back a giggle. "No, it was a great night, but nothing more" i said genuinely. She looked at me for a second before she smirked and said "What about Harry then?" I tried to hide my blushing cheeks but she caught on. "I knew it!" She laughed and pulled me in for a hug. "Liam told me that Harry hasn't been himself since they left. He hasn't pulled at all and declines everyone trying to make a move on him." "Maybe he's just tired of being a womanizer?" I guessed but somehow knew that couldn't be the entire truth. "Or maybe he has someone special on his mind?" She teased "Stop it Julia. He's gorgeous yes, but he's Harry freaking Styles! Why would he want me? There's no way it has anything to do with me. I was just there as your friend and he hardly spoke to me at all, so no. I'm not the reason if he has changed his ways." I stated. "If you say so, but Liam also told me there has been some tension between Louis and Harry but not even Louis knows why." "It has nothing to do with me! Come on Julia, I was just a one night stand to Louis and nothing at all to Harry." "Okay, if you say so...want to watch a movie and order pizza?" She asked, changing the subject away from the boys all together.

A couple of weeks later I was still thinking about what she had told me, but still couldn't come to any other reason as to why I would have anything to do with Harrys change og the tension. I was hanging out at Julias place when someone knocked on the door. She went to open, and a loud scream echoed through the apartment, followed by a giggle. I stood up and went to see who had caused such a reaction from Julia. It was Liam. From what i could tell from the part of him that wasn't covered in my friend who had wrapped herself around him like a koala. I smiled at the sight. "Hi Victoria" Niall said from behind them and pushed Liam and Julia out of the way to come and greet me. "Hey, what are you guys doing here?" "Surprise" Liam said as he placed Julia back on her feet. "We have a week off before going to the US, so Liam here wanted to visit you guys, and we hoped you wouldn't mind if we crashed with you and dissapeared from the world for a while" Louis said as he hugged me and then moved out of the way to let Zayn and Harry greet me as well. Harry seemed like he hesitated a bit but still engulfed me in his strong arms and his whole body seemed to relax against mine. We locked eyes for a moment as I answered. "Ofcourse not, but we can't all stay here, and the lovebirds probably want some privacy, so how about they stay here and the rest of you can crash at my place? It's just around the corner and I have a guestroom as well as a pull out couch" Julia sent me a wink and a thankful smile. The boys accepted and we agreed to meet up for dinner at my place later that night, leaving Julia and Liam to themselves.

I quickly bought some groceries on the way back and when I arrived the boys were waiting by my door and chatting. Well, Louis, Niall and Zayn were. Harry looked like he would rather be somewhere else. I shrugged it off and lead them into the apartment. When everyone was settled in and Louis and Niall had agreed upon watching a movie while Zayn went for a nap, I retreated to my kitchen to start cooking dinner. Lost in my own mind I hadn't noticed someone entering the kitchen until I turned around to find Harry resting against the opposit counter. I blushed and quickly turned back around to try and hide it. "Can i help with dinner?" He asked quietly, and I nodded and showed him what to cut up for the salad. I slowly relaxed more and more in his company and we started talking and joking along the way. He was really funny and very skilled in the kitchen so it didn't take long to finish up what could be done now. "Now all we have to do is wait" I exclaimed as I closed the oven and turned around. I gasped and froze. Harry was standing so close to me that I could feel his breath on my face and when he gently tucked a loose piece of hair behind my ear and caressed his fingers down my cheek, I closed my eyes in pleasure and leaned into his touch. I slowly opened my eyes again and put my own hand on top of his on my face. I looked at him while I planted a small kiss in his palm. He gulped and took a deep breath. "Sorry, I cant do this. I'm sorry Victoria" he said before he practically bolted out of the kitchen.

I was left speechless. What happened? Why couldn't he do it? He had seemed willing to kiss me right then and there, and he couldn't be doubting my willingness and interest in him i thought confused. I stumbled back to the living room and sat down next to Louis who looked at me concerned. "Everything alright?" He said. "Yeah, everything is fine. Dinner should be ready in an hour. Enjoying the movie?" "Yes, it's a classic" he said and turned back towards the tv. I felt restless and decided to go to my own room to cool down a bit and gather myself before dinner. As I approached the door to my bedroom I heard someone talking from the guestroom across the hall. "This is so frustrating Zee! What do I do? It's killing me to stay here. I can't be around her and you know why." I couldn't hear Zayns respons but Harry seemed frustrated and I couldn't believe that I had anything to do with that. We had gotten along so well in the kitchen and there was certainly an attraction between us, so why couldn't he be here? What was wrong with me? I let out a quiet sob and quickly retreated to my room, closing the door before sliding down it and resting my head between my knees while I tried to pull myself together. I had never cried over a boy, and this one wasn't even mine and we werent in any type of relationship or anything so why did it hurt so much to hear he couldn't be around me.

When dinner came around I had splashed cold water in my face to get rid of my red eyes and taken several deep breaths before I left the comfort of my bedroom. Julia and Liam had just arrived and were lounging on the couch with satisfied smiles and hands locked together. It seemed so easy for them to just click, and I so badly wanted that for myself. I looked at them a moment more before turning around and catching Harry's eyes on my way to the kitchen. He seemed like he had been crying too, and it broke my heart to know I was the reason for it.