𝒾𝒻 𝒾 𝒸𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝒻𝓁𝓎 𝒽𝑜𝓂𝑒 (𝓁.𝓈.)

six

No, of course I'm not freaking out.

I think going insane would be a more accurate description.

Harry looks goddamn perfect, as always. And he looked at me. Twice. The first time was like an awkward staring contest where we were both casually checking each other out (I definitely did not miss his eyes scanning over me) and the second was...an accident. 

I should explain something first. I've had a sort of...well, the word Liam would use is "obsession," (but I wouldn't say that) with Harry, pretty much since I figured out he existed. I've even been to a few of his shows. (Okay, who am I kidding? I've been to two, and yes, of course I know the exact dates.) I listen to his music (sometimes). But mostly, I stalk him on social media and hope maybe someday he'll notice me.

If you're like Liam and Zayn, you're probably asking, What exactly is so special about this Harry Styles? And the answer is, so much.

And yes, I'm aware I sound like one of those embarrassing fans that are the reason celebrities have security teams, but come on. It's not my fault I'm a closeted gay man and Harry Styles is a sight for sore eyes. 

What is my fault is the unexplainable amount of time I spend following everything Harry does. You'd think I'd have at least made a move by now. But no. My situation is very complicated, and it's better for everyone if I watch Harry from afar.

Liam and Zayn think I should just stop thinking about him altogether, but they don't understand. They've been together forever, the ultimate pop music power couple. They didn't sign with the wrong label. And they fell in love immediately.

That's why, while they're laughing and talking and I'm third-wheeling, I can't stop my eyes from drifting over to Harry. He's seated at the bar, talking with a woman I recognize as Taylor Swift, the American country-turned-pop music sensation. Their conversation looks...comfortable. I remind myself I don't deserve to be jealous.

I can't stop myself from staring, though. Even when Taylor turns around and catches me watching, and even when Harry looks at me, too. He looks away quickly, and doesn't look back. I mean, I am watching him kind of creepily...but whatever.

"Louis William Tomlinson, are you even listening at all?" Liam says, and Zayn snaps his fingers in my face. I blink and focus my attention on my friends, both of whom are standing in front of me, fixing me with their unamused parent stares even though I'm older than both of them.

"Um...not really?" I answer, and Liam rolls his eyes.

"Nevermind. I guess you don't want to know about Harry's—"

"Harry? What? Tell me," I demand.

Liam looks like he wants to laugh. "I was talking about Harry's Brit nomination," he continues. "Or is that not why you're here tonight?"

Damn, he knows me too well. But, just for the hell of it, I might as well play dumb. "What? He was nominated? That's cool. I didn't know."

Zayn raises an eyebrow at me. "Nice try, Tommo. I'm sure it's also a total coincidence that you didn't bring Eleanor even though you know there's tons of cameras here tonight."

"Exactly why I didn't bring her. No reason to feed the rumors if they aren't true."

They trade a glance.

"Louis, we just think this watch-from-the-outside-and-stay-hidden plan of yours isn't healthy," Liam says, at least attempting to sound gentle. "You either need to try and forget about Harry, or finally get the balls to talk to him."

"Stop insulting my balls," I sass, mostly to avoid the content of what Liam's saying. Because the truth is...he's right. But neither of those options seem particularly good. That doesn't mean they aren't necessary.

Zayn checks his watch. "Well, lads, the ceremony's about to start. It looks like you're off the hook, Louis...for now."

I breathe out a sigh of relief. I won't have to worry about Harry for the next few hours, at least. And then I'll only have to worry about him if he decides to go to the afterparty.

Part of me hopes he does, if only so I can watch him a bit more.

A/N: Soooo Louis' a little creepy...but it's ok because it's Larry and they're adorable. See, the thing is, Louis thinks he only watches Harry because he's hot, but he's in love. We all know it.

Thank you for reading! Love you all <3.

Always TPWK!

-K