That One Time We Kissed // Bishova College AU

Hey Wait Yelena is Traumatized

Yelena Belova had a problem. Her life was simply too good.

In the last year alone, she gained so much. She had dozens of sisters who respected and admired her, she reconnected with a long lost foster mom, she was expecting an adorable little sibling, and she had the most wonderful, adoring, incredible, amazing girlfriend ever.

But... that was sort of the issue.

Yelena had never felt so... secure. So genuinely safe. So safe and secure, in fact, that she wholly forgot about a date that used to be torturous. Her mother's birthday.

Back then, she used to be a good daughter. She would steal singular slices of cake from grocery stores to hold her own solemn birthday parties in her honor, setting her picture up at the dinner table of whatever foster home she resided in.

The date was a reminder of everything she had lost and served as a time to honor everything she once held close. Now, she was off galavanting with billionaires and making out with a Manhattan socialite.

It was a double edged sword, though. The fact that she was so safe and cared for meant she no longer fought for survival every day- no more hungry nights, no more petty theft, no more fretting over where she would stay every summer. But, the space that used to be reserved for anxiety about her own survival was free, and she had ample time to face her past.

Honestly, Yelena had not realized how much she had been avoiding the subject until now. She had been treading water for so, so long, just scraping by week by week. But... she didn't have to anymore, and it was a bit alarming.

How do you even begin to unpack years of trauma? At her own admission, Yelena was emotionally stunted, and the task felt insurmountable. Perhaps she should not even try, Yelena thought, perhaps she should push it all away, but that would just delay the inevitable. She was better than that.

"Babe?" Kate asked, returning to Yelena with a grocery cart, one of its wheels wobbly. "You okay? You look a little spaced."

Yelena nodded dully, taking Kate's arm as she pushed the cart. The blonde ran a hand over the rough denim of Kate's sleeve, the sensation keeping her grounded. "I need to go to the bakery."

"I like that idea," Kate agreed excitedly, having to slow her strides across the store's smooth tile for Yelena to keep up. "What are thinking, sweet thing? Cookies? Chocolate chip muffins?"

"I need a cake."

"Hell yeah. My life got exponentially better when I realized I didn't need a special occasion to get a cake. You could just get one. For no reason at all."

Yelena hummed absently, nearly tripping over Kate's converse. "Sorry."

"My space cadet today," Kate said with an affectionate grin, wrapping an arm around Yelena's shoulders. "You sleepy or something?"

"I guess. Haven't slept well this week."

"You wanna come over tonight? We can..."

Kate trailed off, watching as Yelena wandered over to the confections display case. The brunette removed her baseball cap, smoothing her hair before putting it back on. What on earth was up with Yelena Belova today?

As Yelena approached the case, shelves filled to the brim with slices of carrot, vanilla, and red velvet, she pressed a tentative finger to the glass. A few years ago, she would have been planning to swipe the hunk of confetti cake on the top shelf, but now... now she didn't know what to do.

Now, she just missed her mom. She missed her laugh, her smile, the way she would ritualistically braid her hair before school. Yelena ached to hear one more Russian folk tale, to taste one more homemade dish. She loved her mother so much, and it pained her so deeply to think her memory may be fading. How could she ever forget the woman who made her?