The Withering

06 | deeper wounds

Sometimes our thoughts compel our minds so deeply that we lose track of our actions. Life always has a way of teaching us new lessons. The roles we choose in our lives are often guided by nature, and sometimes they turn bad even without us wanting it.

Sarah played a significant role in Ayaan's life. The moment he first saw her, he knew they were ready for new adventures together. Only to realize she was nothing less than a mystery herself.

Ayaan wanted to ask her a lot of things, but as usual, he kept those questions buried in his heart. The reason was as simple as he had ignored it for so long. Sarah sure needed help, but he wasn't capable of helping her. The only one who could save her was her willingness to step out of the dark and grasp the light he was holding out for her.

It had been two days since she was in the hospital and two days of utter restlessness for Ayaan. The only time he left her side was- when he needed to make some vegetable soup for her and finally needed a warm bath himself.

As for Sarah, even though she was doing better, she looked pale, and his hands itched to gather her in his arms. If he did that- would she tell him the secrets she had been hiding? What if not knowing kept them together till now? Was he ready for the truth and risk losing her for good?

Sarah wore a blank expression as she watched him mix pepper powder in the soup for her. Ayaan set the bowl on the table and moved his attention back to her.

"How are you feeling now?" Ayaan asked, caressing her wrist above the bandaged part, his heart clenching a little with the thought of reliving his helplessness every time he saw the scars on her wrist.

He felt like the most oblivious and self-centered guy in the whole universe. How didn't he see through her mental state?

"Little bit sick because of this place, I guess," she said, trying to sit up, but her hands trembled, and Ayaan had to place his hand behind her head before she fell back again.

He helped her with a pillow against her spine so she could sit comfortably and let his hand stay around her shoulder. As soon as their warm skin came in contact, he felt her limbs relaxing, and she looked up at his face with slightly tired eyes. "I want to go home, Ayaan. This place is making me sicker."

He wanted to tell her that she was the reason they were there in the first place but bit his overbearing tongue and gave her a nod. Also, it was him who felt more sick than her in the situation she had forced him through. But then, he couldn't complain about it either because he basically signed up for that willingly.

"Do you want to ask me something?" It was as if Sarah could sense his confusion and knew all he wanted to ask her. How couldn't she? After all, he had asked her many times the same question, only to get fed with half-assed apologies. She would only offer him the reasons he was aware of but knew they weren't the ones. There was more to it.

"No, nothing that your eyes can't tell," he said. He knew that even if he asked- his wife would not tell him. So, he left it all to herself until she was ready to finally let him in.

Maybe someday she would realize that he was there for her always, that he wouldn't have to see her in pain.

Maybe someday Sarah wouldn't feel lonely.

And he didn't know when that day would come but hoped it was sooner.

***

As a child, we were told - Time heals almost everything. Well, that's true, as with the flow of time, we encounter different and new things. But sometimes, our mind plays smarter. It never allows it to flow. It tries to control its flow and concentrate on what it wants rather than what time offers.

It had been a week since Sarah got discharged from the hospital. Her injuries were healing, and Ayaan made sure she was never alone. He always tried his best to make her happy and wished her heart healed too.

At the same time, Sarah knew he wanted to know the reasons. He thought she would eventually tell him, but that didn't happen. And deep down, she knew he deserved the truth.

He was doing the routine dressing of her injury, which he never missed. Sarah looked at his face as he did that, and for that particular moment, all her thoughts stopped around him. She felt no pain, no fear, no anger, or negativity. All Sarah could feel was a relief, peace, and a trace of unconditional love he had for her. She would sacrifice anything for that one love. 

But then, her heart filled with guilt, anger, and agitation for herself. She realized how scornful her heart had become that it made him suffer while she watched. Her eyes filled with tears. And she held them back so he couldn't see how dreadful she had become.

"Is it hurting?" He asked as he applied the ointment to her wounds and looked up at her.

She bit her bottom lip to hold back the tears and shook her head in denial, forcing a smile on her face.

"I want to meet Mom," she said after thinking for a while, not knowing how he would react.

Ayaan's hands froze, and his expression changed suddenly. He didn't know what to reply. His mind wanted to say no, but his heart overpowered him yet again.

"Okay, I'll take you to her tomorrow," he said, caressing her wrist and giving her a tight-lipped smile.

"No, I want to go alone," she insisted, holding his gaze for a desperate second. Ayaan tried to say something but didn't come up with words. He took the Medicine-box and left the room without saying a word.

Her mother was the last thing he wanted to be back in her life. He did everything to keep them away. But it seemed he could have done better when it came to protecting the love of his life.

why does Ayaan want to keep Sarah away from her mother?

i'm back on the schedule and hopefully will be updating on a regular basis. do not give up on me yet, guys. also, this story is not to be viewed with rose colored glasses. so, i hope you're prepared for what's coming next!!