The Withering

09 | dark tunnels

Some feelings remain unknown to us. We feel them, but we can't comprehend what it feels like in reality. The feeling of numbness is when there's nothing, yet we know it was there, and we lost it.

Amid the traffic, he didn't know where to head. Ayaan knew he had to find Sarah as she needed him, but he didn't know where exactly to search for her.

Driving his car aimlessly, he felt as if he was standing in the face of a dark tunnel and was heading nowhere. Lost and helpless, he looked everywhere but couldn't spot her on the busy road.

The sound of traffic made him anxious and his thoughts a maze of extreme hopelessness. He wheeled out of the traffic and parked at the corner of the road. His heartbeat was going so fast that he had to struggle hard enough to grab a breath. Putting his head on the steering wheel, he tried to rearrange his thoughts and calm himself down. His white cotton shirt was drenched in sweat and salty trails that fell from the edge of his eyes. If helplessness had a face, it would be him.

While he struggled to decide what to do next, his cell phone started ringing. He shuddered and cursed under his breath, picking it up.

"Who the fuck-"

"I'm calling from City Hospital. Is this Mr. Ayaan?" The voice from the other side of the phone cut him.

"Yes!" Ayaan breathed, trying to avoid all the dark scenarios haunting his mind.

"Your wife is admitted here. We got your number from her." The man continued. "She wants you to take her home."

His heart sank, and for a moment, he couldn't understand how to react. He had found his wife. Sarah wanted him to bring her home.

"Please take care of her. I'm coming right away." He hung up without waiting for the response.

***

When Ayaan reached the hospital, he was informed of Sarah's state in detail.

She was brought to the emergency department by the local police after being found unconscious in an isolated city lane. The police placed her on a civil commitment after she stated that she was trying to escape from the voices. She wouldn't tell them anything except that the voices would find her if she dared to talk about them.

She couldn't answer any of their questions clearly and struggled a lot to explain her exact condition or experience. Most of her answers were incomplete and incomprehensible, but for one thing, she was assertive that the voices were torturing her.

"Do you have any idea what she means by the voices?" The official had asked Ayaan.

Ayaan could only answer with a no. Even he didn't know what voices they were talking about. All he knew was that his wife needed him, and he didn't know how to help her. "I don't know, officer. Maybe, she misses her dad a lot. They were pretty close."

Ayaan reported that after her father's death, she became isolated; she made no new friends, stayed away from social gatherings, and preferred to stay alone most of the time. But she had never talked about any voices, and she was far from any drug addiction which could cause such impulses. He intentionally didn't tell them any details, which might otherwise force them to undergo any psychiatric evaluation on Sarah.

After a few diagnoses, the authority finally released her on the account that she didn't experience any such stimuli for 72 hours.

But still, they asked Ayaan to keep her in constant touch with the doctors in case any such event repeats in the coming future.

He finally relaxed that Sarah was out of all the mess, not knowing what was to come next.

***

We can't control the possibilities in our life. We may not like how time presents itself to us, but it's very much possible that it may not remain the same always.

Things started getting worse each day for her. Sarah knew everything she was experiencing and what was going on with her. But she couldn't explain it to anyone, not even Ayaan. He was already suffering a lot because of her, and she couldn't make him suffer anymore.

She snoozed the obnoxious sound of the alarm disturbing her sleep. But realizing it was the third time she had done it, she struggled to open her eyes to see what time it actually showed. She had been sleeping longer that day. So she pushed her blanket aside and tried to shrug off her sleepy mode.

As soon as her feet touched the floor, she felt something strange. It was the same fear, chilling her blood and running through her veins. At first, it reached her ears in low whispers, and then, she could hear them clearly. It felt as if they were all around her and in every direction. She wanted to run from those voices, but her feet remained glued to the floor. She had to shout and call Ayaan, but she couldn't.

All she could do was wait for them to stop, but they wouldn't stop. The voices reached her ears in a much higher pitch. She was tired of her unfulfilled attempts to ignore or avoid them. Instead of ignoring them, she tried to listen and understand. The voices wanted her to believe something, and they sounded very confident. 

They were waiting for her reply, and she had to as they were indeed right.

"Yes," she replied to the voices this time.