Mend My Heart

Chapter 29

Theodore’s P.O.V

Everything was going well; I could have most definitely used the word peachy. Never had I fathomed that Yolanda would stoop so low as to verbally and physically abuse Maya, much less under my own roof. Okay, I knew that she was overdramatic and snobby…but pegging her as malicious? She’s bloody worse than that. She’s a walking Jezebel.

I had a pretty smooth day at work. I’d just landed a deal with a very prominent shipping conglomerate in Miami that would see me upgrading their harbours all over the world. Just another thing to add to my ongoing list of achievements. My new business partners were just excited as I was and so we went out for dinner and drinks. It was the ideal way to end the day.

But did I not arrive back home just to witness a cat fight? It enraged me to see and hear the way Yolanda spoke to Maya as though I hadn’t warned her against it when she popped in my office a few days earlier asking to stay in my home. Of course, I had first refused but she almost burst into tears right then and there, in front of my P.A. I felt like a nob for denying her so I ended up accepting. Her mood instantly changed from despair to ecstatic in a matter of nanoseconds. She even bloody hugged me like I’d saved her cat from dying or something. 

She promised me she would behave…and what did she end up doing?

Almost sparking a third world war in my damn kitchen!

And if I had not intervened when I did, Maya looked just about ready to despatch her. I arrived home with a smile of contentment on my face. I was excited to share the news with Maya and hopefully get a congratulatory kiss from her, only to see her take a thunderous slap from Yolanda. The sound resonated on the walls and stunned me so hard that I was momentarily paralyzed. I tried to blink and pinch myself to check whether I was dreaming or not. Newsflash, I wasn’t.

I had just had a quick shower before changing into a plain white tee and some pyjama pants, slid my dress shoes off and replaced them with slippers before taking my phone and leaving my room. There was no need for me to dress up just to drop her off at one of my hotels. I both too tired and too damned irritated for that.

I emerged from my room just the same time as Yolanda did, dragging her two suitcases along the hall noisily. “Are you mad? My children are asleep,” I seethed at her and she scoffed.

“You just kicked me out. Do you think I’m just going to be jovial and modest about it? Not a chance. Now, help me carry these to the car,” she sniffed rudely but I simply rolled my eyes and went down the stairs, ignoring both her and her luggage. I heard her huff in exasperation and she began to throw colourful profanities at my retreating back. 

I stepped out the front door and went over to my Range Rover. I slid in and waited for her majesty to come down, which took about ten minutes. After struggling to place her bags in the back, she came over to the front and slammed the door shut. I immediately started the car and backed out of the garage, before driving towards the gate. The guards were surprised to see me going out at this hour but they opened the gates nonetheless.

He’s using you but you are too blinded by infatuation to notice it.

Why did those words bother me so much? Was it true, was I just using her? I’d tried so hard to combat these sentiments for so long but we all have a breaking point. And if I’m being honest, I really liked Maya and hopefully she liked me too. But what the hell was going on between us? Attraction? A fling? An affair? I wanted to take it a step further but that fear I’d always felt whenever I thought about commitments was hindering me from doing so.

Who was I kidding? Could there ever be anything between us? She lives in the States and I live in England. And she is a genuinely good soul, whereas I’m just some man who is only but a shadow of his former self who got anxiety just from thinking about being in a relationship. She was just supposed to be here for the debt, and I ended up osculating with her. That is wrong on so many levels. 

I had no idea I’d arrived at my destination but my mind and body seemed to be not in sync. I cut off the engine and we both just sat there in silence for some time. “What you did was unacceptable,” I muttered and she snarled at my words.

“What did you want me to do? Just sit there and take away something that belongs to me?” she fired back ruthlessly, throwing her hands in the air for emphasis.

I sighed and completely turned towards her. “How many times do I have to tell you that I do not belong to you? Firstly, I’m not an object and secondly, you and I are just friends. I get that you think that there could be something between us but Yolanda, I just don’t feel that way about you. We’ve hooked up quite a few times but it meant nothing to me,” I admitted with guilt and I watched her eyes glaze over. My heart sunk to the bottom of my soul when I watched a lone tear slip down her cheek.

“But I-I love you. With all my heart…what do I have to do to m-make you love me back?” she cried, her whole form trembling. I’m a bastard, I mentally cussed myself. I’d led her on for so long and now it had just come to bite me in the arse. I forgot that she actually has a heart and she was easily hurt. In what universe did I feel like it was alright to do this to her?

You are doing the exact same thing to Maya, my conscience callously disclosed to me and for once, I wholeheartedly welcomed that it was right. I am using her just for my own selfish reasons. How had I not detected this sooner? 

I took her hand and held it between my larger ones. “Yolanda, I know that you love me but I don’t deserve you-,”

She cut me off. “And she does?” she sharply interjected and I shook my head. It was true, I don’t even deserve either of them. I’m not sure I ever will…

“No. And you were right about me bringing her here, it was a huge mistake. I’m in no condition to be with anyone due to this constant fear, and insecurities I have knocking in my brain. But it’s not too late for you to find the one that is right for you. I won’t condone what you did back at my house, but I do know that underneath the vanity and superiority, is someone capable of being an amazing human being. Please try to change, Yolanda,” I told her sincerely and she ripped her hand out of my grasp.

She shook her head. “Why do you sound like you’re saying goodbye forever? Can’t we just forget about this and be friends again?” she pleaded in a cracked voice, her eyes brimming with expectation. I never imagined that having this conversation would be so hard. The old me would have just dropped her off without looking back, but Maya had taught me that everything I say and do matters. 

“I’m afraid this is it. Our relationship is toxic and we cannot continue it. We need to let each other go before we destroy each other.” Just like how I need to let Maya go before I destroy her.

The next second Yolanda slapped me so hard my cheek felt like somebody had poured acid on it. To say I was not anticipating it was probably an underestimation. “You know what, go to hell Theodore Duke. I wish I had never met you,” she spat in my face before throwing the door open and jumping out. She slammed it hard before going to the back and practically dragging her suitcases out. “Screw you,” she again hissed and walked towards the entrance of the hotel. Before entering, she flipped me the bird and dramatically flipped her hair over her shoulder.

I really didn’t blame her for doing that. She was fuming, which was pretty much comprehensible, but the slap? That was taking it too far. I swerved away some minutes later after much contemplation over my next move. I really didn’t want to do this. Just thinking about it made my hands shake with consternation. I had no idea how she was going to take this, and if I was lucky, I wouldn’t get smacked in the face like how I had just been.

It was time for Maya to go back to Malibu. 

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~Deetronite.