Mend My Heart

Chapter 32

Theodore’s P.O.V

A week.

That’s how long it had been since Maya left, and my life plunged into sheer disaster. Not only was I without question miserable, both my children and my mother were not speaking to me. And it felt like utter hell, when my once dull life had become to vibrant and exuberant, only for it to revert to being worse than it had been before. The worst part of it was I’d began to find solace in alcohol, something I just wasn’t too proud of.

I knew what my next step had to be, but I just couldn’t bring myself to actually doing it. I desperately needed to confront the demons of my past if I had any hope in winning Maya back. I’d let her go temporarily because I just knew I didn’t deserve her…yet. I needed to work for her to be in my life; I needed her to be the final step in finally mending my heart.

It’s quite funny how I’d thought it was beyond repair, but that was a life time ago. Not only had she disturbed my routine, she’d broken down my walls and unwittingly began to make me feel whole. She’d played her part very well, but now it was my turn to make the necessary measures to make sure that I was indeed ready to commit to her. I was still very hesitant and insecure, but I had a reason to set that all aside.

I will have her back in my life even if it’s the last thing I do.

I just have no bloody clue how long that will take. Hopefully it won’t be too long…and I’m forgetting about the part where I basically broke her heart in the process. It was an essentially cruel thing for me to do in order to be kind. She didn’t know it, but I had thrown her life off balance and the guilt was eating me up inside. I wanted her to get her life back on track, and so she could really figure out if I was the kind of man she wanted to be with. If not, I’d spend the rest of my life convincing her if I have to. 

But that cheque I gave her wasn’t a good call, was it?

What was I supposed to do, let her walk away empty handed? I know, it defeated the whole purpose of her coming here but…. I really had no excuse as to why I had done that. It was more of a parting gift, and excessive one though, but hopefully she’d put it to good use and be able to live comfortably for a little while.

I really miss her. Her honey-coloured eyes, her infectious smile, her oh so soft lips pressed against mine and the feel of her delicate body in my arms. I couldn’t go a day without thinking about her, and it’s affecting my work too. Normally, I’m the typical workaholic but these days I’d begun to show up to work late and would leave earlier than usual to go to the pub. Women, of course, would throw themselves at me but I just couldn’t bring myself about to engaging with them. They all disgusted me and that was a part of my life that was buried permanently. There’s only one woman whom I’d like to have in between my sheets. 

But today was different. I’d had enough of the procrastination which is why instead of donning my usual Armani or Hugo Boss suit, I wore a rather casual outfit. I left the house around seven and instructed my driver to take me a cafe that was once special to me. When he stopped near it, I hopped out with my phone in hand, and carefully strode into the warm little establishment. I sense of nostalgia hit me so hard that I almost choked on the stagnant air.

This used to be our little getaway. 

I took a seat at the very same corner booth we’d sit in all the time, talk about our future together and maybe steal a few kisses. I smiled bitterly at the memories that once defined me. My phone beeped, signalling that I’d received a message. An uncomfortable sensation settled in the bottom of my stomach. A few minutes later, the seat opposite me was occupied by the very last person I thought I’d ever want to see again.