Mend My Heart

Chapter 37

Maya’s P.O.V

I arrived at work just before the clock struck eight. I’d insisted that Theodore drop me off a block away so that Brian wouldn’t see me pull up in a Bugatti, because that would definitely leave him with questions. Questions I didn’t necessarily have the answers to.

What happened this morning drenched me in guilt. I behaved so unlike myself, but at the same time it was something I’d been yearning for a long time now. But I knew that I shouldn’t have kissed him, especially since I’m dating and that means I technically cheated on my boyfriend. To make matters worse, I kept on thinking about how Theodore said he loves me.

He loves me.

I should be overjoyed and yet, all I had clouded my mind was unbridled vexation. Yes, I am still quite in love with him but I also have feelings for Brian, which I came to realise not even an hour ago. Every moment I’ve ever shared with Theodore has been engraved in my heart and soul; I mean, he’d the first man whom I have shared a profound connection with. And it wasn’t just physically, our minds and souls were connected.

Brian was another story altogether. He made me feel secure and appreciated, and not once had he ever intentionally hurt me. He made sure to be patient and gentle with me. I cannot explain the warm feeling that overcomes me whenever he’s around or when I’m in his arms. 

On one hand, I have a man who makes me feel alive and like together we can conquer anything; on the other hand, there’s a man who I know very well is kind and would do just about anything for me. And right now, I just couldn’t decide who was the better option. My feelings for Theodore threatened my sanity and everything I worked on in his absence. I don’t know what he had planned but I was pretty certain it involved whisking me away back to England and working on us.

My life is here in Malibu, but I cannot deny the fact that I’d grown fond of London. But was I willing to just uproot myself from my hometown just to be with a man who had let me down and shattered my heart into a million pieces not even half a year ago? Was I even sure that he had truly changed or was he just saying that so he could pull the wool over my eyes and get me on board on yet another carousal of heartbreak?

I’m so glad that my shift was in the back today, however, I could barely focus on the many music lessons I had to conduct during the day. I’d switched off my phone since I didn’t want to be bothered by either Lexi or Brian. When lunch time came rolling around, I was very grateful that Brian didn’t come looking for me; which could either be because the lunch rush had him really preoccupied or he was probably miffed at me for not being there for our daily walk to work in the morning. Fingers crossed that it is the former in this situation.

At five, my co-worker and I locked up. I felt exhausted, both physically and mentally. I glanced at the café across the street, to see that they were pretty much still open and busy, which meant Brian wasn’t likely available. I could have stopped by to say goodbye to him, but I decided against it. I don’t think I could possibly look him in the eye after what I’d done to him.

On my way home, I had my ear phones plugged in as I listened to some tunes on Spotify. When I felt a hand on my shoulder, I pivoted just about ready to karate chop whoever thought it was a good idea to sneak up on me, only to see that it was Lexi. “Dammit, Alexa! I nearly had a heart attack!” I shrieked at her, trying to calm down my rapid heartbeat.

She shrugged. “Not my fault that you didn’t hear me calling you at least five times. And it didn’t help that your phone wasn’t reachable all day!” she reprimanded me and I uttered a quick apology for being AWOL. “Let’s go over to your place and order a pizza. Feel like I haven’t seen you in like forever.”