The Comeback

Chapter Twenty- Eight

Roman

Guilt. 

It's an extremely complex emotion. It's something that our minds and hearts don't quite no how to control it, or reduce it's pressure on your life. I mean people can ignore it, but the question is always how long? How long can you go on living your life knowing that your happiness derived from someone else's misfortune? What if that person is someone you can't live without or can't imagine your life without them? What if you start to have thoughts that they would be better off without you?

That's how I have been living my life since Liza's interview hit the shelves. It didn't matter what she said was true, all people cared about was having an opinion on something they had no idea about. Liza's mirage of what happened in our marriage, only confirms to be what a wicked and cruel woman she is. It didn't matter that the woman she was tearing apart was the woman that protected her children from harm. She simply wanted to hurt me, hurt us. She didn't care about the children - from the time that the court granted me full custody, she has never really cared about them. For her they weren't children, but simply pawns in a game that she loved to play.

The game which I nearly lost if it wasn't for Renee. God knows what would have happened to my children if Liza still had access to them. These years without her around, I thought she had finally come to terms with our divorce and plan for the children, but how wrong was I? I should have known not to lower my barriers, I almost forgot how manipulative and intelligent she was. It was a shame that she never wanted to contribute to society, if she was a good person I have no doubt she would have achieved something great. I can't help but shake my head and sigh in disappointment. 

I'm disappointed in myself for choosing a woman as a life partner in the first place, but every time I look at my children's innocent faces, I can't help but feel that it was all for the best. But when I look at Renee, my heart is filled with an inexplainable pain. I'm sad and disappointed about what this has done to the woman, who would fight for the smallest injustice in the world. The only difference is, she won't fight for herself. 

Both me and Jack have taken it upon ourselves to try and fight for her, but she's just different. Her eyes are always swollen but she refuses to cry in front of us; the dark circles under her eyes showed that she wasn't sleeping, but whenever we were around she was close her eyes and quietly lay on the sofa. The once vibrant and loving person was just a shell of herself, nothing we said or do changed her. She had been like this for a week but she still hadn't said anything. 

She was holed up in Jack's spare apartment. It wasn't huge but it was a comfortable. It was the perfect bachelors pad. Jack had created the perfect environment for Renee to wilt away. Concierge who will restock the shelves of alcohol she's drunk, while sending up a daily cleaner to ensure she's not living in her own shit. I look her skin, normally her tanned skin would be glowing and healthy, however she looked pale and pasty. Her hair which was always silky and smooth, looked like a tangled mess on the top of her head. Even though she probably hadn't showered in a couple of days, she still looked beautiful. I couldn't help but admire her bottom lip. 

I slip my trainers off before I make my way to the sofa which she sprawled across. Even though she looks like she is sleeping, you can tell that she's awake. Her breaths are laboured, her breathing is steady. Even though she can hear me, she says nothing, she does nothing. I sit on the floor by her head. I run my hand through the top of her hair. It almost feels as if I picked up a cloth full of oil. Jack wasn't wrong when he said she was starting to smell ripe and he was worried whether she was going to leave a long-lasting smell on his sofa. My nose twitched from the smell and I couldn't help but cough as I brought my hand to nose hoping she couldn't tell that I was disturbed by her stench, I mean it was my fault she was in the position.