19 - Delilah

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Present

"SHIT" I jumped out of bed covered in sweat, heart racing.

For a moment I forget where I am and what year it is. The dream felt so real and so natural, which in a way it was. After talking to Mason on the phone last night and worrying more than I should have, I dreamt of that same memory.

It was after that practice he sprained his ankle, it was that night he came home, and instead of the salacious plans he had for us, I helped him get out in bed and ice it. I rub at my chest from the stinging that memory brings.

We were so good.

I'm losing sight of time now. I'm mixing memories and reality and forcing my heart to do all the deciphering, which can only lead to my own demise.

"Fuck," I sigh.

Reaching for my phone I note the time and how I have an hour before I'm meeting my Dad for lunch in town. I was supposed to meet Tish but she got called into work for something last minute so instead, I invited my dad. I figured we could use the time to really talk.

After the night of drinking, I was worried about him, more than usual. I wondered if he was skipping his therapy appointments, or if it wasn't working anymore. But what really worries me is that he's fallen back to the beginning of his grief where he wasn't near a stage of being ready for therapy. If that's the case, going won't change anything.

Deciding I should get the day started, I spend thirty minutes showering and getting ready. My phone buzzes just as I'm starting my car.

Clara: Did you see this?

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Opening the image my heart sinks. It's a news article from a local station highlighting Mason's return, but it's not the fact they're covering Mason that causes my stomach to twist. It's the image and headline.

Mason Jones heads home for recovery; could a new girl be his medicine?

Below the sad excuse for a headline is a picture of us both inside Old Joe's. We're not touching but we're looking at one another like more than strangers. Someone must've taken it when I went to check on him after my friends showed up unexpectedly.

Okay, so it's not the worst thing that could've happened. I guess this should be expected considering he's a public figure and this town is not ALL locals. Besides, it could've been a picture of us kissing and that would've been an absolute meltdown. I'm sure I'd get calls from every relative I've ever had.

And I'm sure Mason's team wouldn't like it.

Is even being pictured with me and this daunting headline bad exposure? And now suddenly I'm worrying about him looking bad because he's at a bar with friends when he should be at home and laying low.

What exactly was on my bingo card for this year? Did I pick the wildest card known to man?

Deciding to forget about the text I ignore Clara and turn off my phone to make the short drive into town for some lunch with Dad.

—-

"I just want to start out with an apology, which I know you're tired of, Hun." My Dad sighs, laying his napkin out on his lap. I watch as he clears his throat and avoids eye contact, clear signs of his guilt and unease.

I had to give it to him for admitting an apology right away, clearly, he had been thinking about it.

"I shouldn't be drinking like that, especially around you. I shouldn't be putting that weight on your shoulders." I nod as he speaks, picking up my chopsticks to dig into my Paitan ramen.

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