The Dragons and Their Sun (aemond/oc)

i'm sorry

I don't really know how to start this. I know I haven't been updating. There's really no excuse, but I wanted to give everyone who is still reading an update.

I'll start by thanking everyone for reading this story. It truly, truly, means the world to me. I also want to apologize for not giving you all the update you deserve. I'm sorry.

I know none of you know me personally, but let me just tell you: I am incredibly close with my grandparents. They're not just family, but they're my friends as well. I adore them with my entire being. But, my grandfather is really sick. Like, really sick. To make it short, he's dying. He's been moved back home after a long stay in the hospital so that he can pass comfortably at home. My entire family, me included, has been caring for him around the clock. It's draining. Mentally and physically. He's delirious, and he barely recognizes anyone. I don't know, I think that this entire situation is just fucking with my head. Mentally, I feel dead. Like I am simply going through the motions day to day.

I want to write, more than anything. Writing is my biggest passion, and I long to grow my skills and truly become an author some day. That being said, I cannot bring myself to write. The sheer thought of me picking up my laptop to write new chapters sends me into a spiral. I don't know why. I love my stories so much, and it breaks my heart that my brain won't let me write more. I know, for some, this might sound stupid.

However, I do hope that some of you know what kind of emotions I'm describing. The feeling of wanting to do something so badly, knowing you need to, but literally not being able to do it.

I don't want to blame me feeling this way on my grandfather's illness. I've felt this ever-growing hopelessness before. I think him being in this state has just pushed that feeling so far forward in my brain that I literally cannot focus on anything else.

I want to write.  I do. I'm trying. I promise.

To end this update on a slightly positive note, I am not giving up on this story. I am way too stubborn to give up something I care for so deeply. I'm going to fight this fog that's covered my life. (That was the corniest thing I've ever written.)

I will update. I swear, on everything I care for, that this story will have an ending. Not a quick chapter detailing what would have happened. An ending. Aurora and Aemond will get married, goddamn it. Her father will die. I need to see that through. I can't give you a 'when,' and for that, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

If this is the end of your journey with me because you don't wish to wait for me to get my shit together, I thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for reading this far. I wish you all well.

If you choose to wait with me, thank you. And, I'll see you soon.