The Red of the Writing

Ten | Rani

I'm clearly not welcome here.

The Azovi woman, whose name I still don't know - they've been careful to only refer to her as 'Iza' - watches me with wary eyes. And yet, even her neutral, if constant, gaze is more welcome than the man's - Tanik's - whose scrutiny is harsh and downright distrustful.

They're wise to be cautious. I'm a stranger to them - for all they know, I could be a Kaval agent. But no matter how much my rationality tries to soothe me, I can't deny that somewhere deep down, their suspicion hurts.

Maybe it shouldn't. Maybe I should be used to it. But I'm not, and I don't know if I ever will be.

The air feels as thick as syrup as I walk into the kitchen for lunch. I can feel the ever-present stares of the two rebels, and they only serve to tighten the already-tight coil in my stomach.

The quiet is unnerving; just a minute ago, they were murmuring to each other, grins on their faces, as I hovered at the top of the stairs. But as soon as I stepped into view, their voices disappeared like whispers in the wind.

I want to laugh. I want to cry. I want to scream. Something, everything, anything, to break this tense silence that has settled between us.

They're supposed to be my allies. For the first time in years, I'm supposed to have somebody on my side. But somehow, I've never felt more alone.

Would I have been better off if I had never accepted Maliha's offer, never practically begged them to house me? If I had been working somewhere shady and illegal and laying low, like I had planned?

Once you pick a road, you can't ever look back.

The old words ring in my head, a firm reminder of the reality I'm in.

What's done is done. I can't change my choice now. But I can change the situation I'm in right now.

With a deep breath, I grab the prepared sandwich that sits on the counter, and march over to the couches, where the two rebels are sitting.

The woman's eyebrows raise in surprise as I settle myself on the same couch as them, but with quite a bit of distance between us. Tanik is much better at hiding his emotions, but the way he blinks, twice, tells me that he's been taken aback too.

For a moment, the two of them just stare at me, and I stare right back.

This was a bad idea.

Under the weight of their gazes, I almost want to sink into myself. Almost want to get up and go back to my room, to give up on whatever foolish camaraderie I'm trying to encourage by doing this.

Almost.

But didn't I tell them, only two days ago, that I was tired of running away? Maybe this wasn't quite what I meant, but the concept is still applicable. How am I supposed to face my enemies if I can't face my supposed allies?

Baby steps. With another heavy inhale, I extend my left arm out to Tanik, palm facing inwards. An invitation. "So, I don't think I've introduced myself yet. I'm Aurora."

Lying is decidedly not the greatest way to make friends, but it's not like I have another option. Despite knowing that they're rebels, I can't bring myself to trust them, not after knowing them for a measly two days.

It takes a second, but finally, Tanik returns my gesture, his left hand grasping my wrist in the traditional Ayeran greeting. I mirror him, tightening my own fingers around his wrist. "You know my name already."

"I want to hear it from you." The words tumble out of my mouth unbidden, but truthful nonetheless. "You didn't have a choice to tell me earlier, although you should have."

Maybe it's a small thing to focus on - a name I already know - but I, of all people, know how much a name can mean. And how preciously it must be guarded.

Tanik's eyes bore into me; assessing, calculating, but not quite as harsh, if I'm not mistaken. It gives me a bit of hope - until he abruptly drops my wrist.

My heart sinks, but I turn to the woman. Instead of offering my wrist, though, I bring my right hand to my heart, bowing my head as I do so.

Hearing a small gasp, I smile. Thank the gods for etiquette classes - I would never have learnt the traditional Azovi greeting otherwise.

With my head down, my vision is limited, but I do see the woman raise her own right hand to her chest as well. I wait, quiet, for the signal I know is coming; Azovi customs dictate that the higher-ranking member of Azovi society break form first, and as an Ayeran, that person is most certainly not me.

It's only a moment or two later when I feel the light touch of fingers upon my elbow. Only then do I lift my head. The woman's face is the first thing that catches my attention - it has softened, and there is something achingly sad in the small smile she wears.

Her eyes flick towards Tanik, and her smile drops, shifting into a small frown. Evidently, this means something to him, because his lips purse in response.

For a few seconds, they continue like this, holding an entire conversation I'm not privy to just with microexpressions. I find myself not minding, though - it's fascinating to see how they can communicate without saying a word. It's a testament to how well they know each other, and I find myself wondering how long they've been acquainted.

Finally, the woman turns back to me. "I'm Rija."

It takes me a moment to process her words. Once I do, my cheeks stretch to accommodate my wide grin.

She told me her name.

Rija. It's clearly not an Ayeran name, but beautiful, nonetheless. It fits her. And, for some reason, she deemed me worthy of knowing it.

And who am I to complain?

"Rija." I repeat, earning myself a nod. Spying a deck of cards stacked on the center table, I grab them, presenting them to the two rebels in front of me.

"How about a game of najrang?"

* * * * *

Current word count: 13038

I'm back! School (finally) got out a few weeks ago, but I went on vacation immediately after, so I couldn't update until now. But now I can finally write again!

This chapter gave me major writer's block. I knew what I wanted to do, just not how I wanted to execute it. I hoped you liked the tentative bonding - there still isn't a whole lot of trust, but they're getting there!

Now that I'm mostly free (aside from volunteering, and getting a job, and Monday band camps, and practicing, and studying for the SAT... ugh), I'll try to update at least once a week, twice if I can manage it. I can't make any promises, except that I will try my very hardest.

Well, see you next time!