Besabriyan

18|EIGHTEEN

Stretching out, Maheen dug deeper into the comfort of the couch after returning from an exhausting and torturous shopping for her nikah, throughout which she had forcibly pulled a smile and feigned an interest so coming back to the warmth of her home, she was relieved. The bags were littered all over the living room with the other two ladies still on hot wheels, running around and placing things in their right places in case they went missing.

"Maheen," Daji walked out of her room, looking for her granddaughter to see if she was doing fine. There were things that wouldn't just escape the elder lady's eyes and her love for Zaviyar was one of them, except she was not voicing about it because to her, Rayyan was the same as Daniyal even when the men were nearly nowhere the same.

"Jee, daji!" Peeling herself out of the couch, Maheen looked behind to find her grandmother walking up to her with a smile on her face. A smile that she would miss after she was sent to live with Rayyan. Sitting by her side, daji closed her eyes and mouthed some of the prayers for her granddaughter's future.

The older lady hadn't been home when her world was turned upside down- when she left his side and pushed him far away only for him to land in another woman's embrace. The scene that she had witnessed was enough to dim her mood for the rest of the day and though he hadn't noticed her, she could see his body stiffen beneath his kurta like he could smell her scent or feel her gaze or simply feel her presence. It didn't matter anyway. Not when they were going to be tied to two different individuals. The knots in her bowels only kept tightening every time she thought of him with Noorul Ain during her time in the market.

The time was ticking away and the date of nikah was nearing and nothing made her feel worse than the feeling of marrying a different man from the one she loved. Zaviyar Ali Dawar was only at a hand's reach. She would only have to extend her hand to him and he would come running to her. Out of love, he might forget what she had done but he wasn't from the ones to forgive betrayals. She would have apologized to him that day at his office, had Noorul Ain not barged in and had he had not proposed the idea of marriage. She would have gone on her knees and cried. She would have told him how much she loved him. She would have told him that she might not be able to love again. She would have told him that he had been the only man to ever break through her guard. Perhaps. Only maybe he would have forgiven her.

"Khush ho?" The answer was clear as the day yet daji wanted to hear from her. Things wouldn't have gone down to that if she had been present when Bazia begam came to ask for her hand in marriage. Sure, she wouldn't have had her daughter repeat her mistakes. Surely Manha's decision regarding Maheen's marriage was purely and devastatingly a mistake.

"Logon ki buri nazar toh khushiyan kha jati hai phir bhi khush hona jayeiz hai?" Sad. Agonizing. Painful. That was what she felt while forming the answer. The way she had push the lump down her throat had her choking for air and the pain that formed in the base of her throat upon suppressing the pain and tears tore her apart. Maheen Kamran didn't go through so much pain even on the night her father remarried.

"Nikah khushi aur mohabbat ka dusra naam hai," The woman didn't say more. She stroked Maheen's hair lovingly, got up and walked back to her room. The tears that she held back were finally free and the captivating pain slowly dissipated with the tears.

Nikah mohabbat ka dusra naam hai– like Rayyan and her would have an ounce of love in their marriage. Rayyan made sure that day when he caught Maheen coming back after meeting Zaviyar. He made very sure that even if he did end up marrying her, she shouldn't expect love from him. Rayyan was never bitter so it shocked her to see him becoming a veiled monster.

"Take your things to your room." Manha yelled from somewhere in the house and she knew the call was for her. Spending the last drop of tear, Maheen got up from the couch and wiped her face when her gaze accidently fell on her mami jaan who was busy amusing at something.