Daniel Monroe growing up in a Christian household has felt the pressures that come with leading a righteous life in a world that represses it. With the weight of it becoming overbearing to him, a mother whose main focus is her Church community and a...
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Penelope's POV
Being a Christian is hard.
It's mostly because of the expectations and assumptions people make. For expectations, they expect life to be filled with smiles and rainbows. When one sees you they expect that you're leading a proper life without any problems and just chaste practises. They expect you to just be... perfect.
And for assumptions, they assume that you can never be bested by your human emotions and wants. They assume that you're all about good character and for goodness sakes the smiles. The warm aura that should surround you. They assume you don't have problems, that you have everything figured out and things are just going well for you.
They never see how difficult it is to battle human flesh with Christ-like character. They never see how we get hurt or angered or frustrated by some people's actions. It's not a soft life and while I'm not suggesting that it's bad, that is, to be all those assumptions and expectations is what we as Christians aspire to be, is it not?
To slay our flesh and put on a new body with our minds aimed on things above.
Even though I wish that I was like Jesus, that I would never sin, never let my anger get the best of me, never lie, never give in to temptations, I have a long way to go before I am any of what people expect me to be. And most importantly what God expects of me.
And this is just a personal view. I haven't spoken about how difficult it is to walk out of your home carrying the title of christianity. The treatments from people, the hate, the comments, the blatant insults and ignorance thrown your way when you try as much as to open your mouth to preach a Bible verse.
I can only work hard towards it by pressing deeper. The disciples endured worse because it's worth it. I know everything is worth it.
In my life I've reached a point where I try not to shut down in difficulties. I reach to my Holy Spirit for guidance and comfort, for advice and shelter because sometimes I just don't have the strength to come out happy. Sometimes I don't have the strength to smile and engage with even the Lord. So instead of retreating I go to him with all my burdens hoping for a solution.
Your Holy Spirit isn't given to you because you are holy. No. It's given to us to make us holy. One day he will make me into who God has decided I will be but today I'm feeling like I am far from it.
Even as I glance at the Bible in my lap I have no motivation to open it and see the words the Lord has for me. With the guilt of the feelings harboring inside me I can't seem to focus on my Bible study.
"Are you okay Penny? You look lost," Jennifer asked, pointing at my untouched Bible.
I brought my legs closer to my chest and buried my face in it. "I feel too guilty."
"We all have our hard times girl, but we shouldn't let it block our relationship with God," Erica said, touching her shoulder. "So what's making you feel this way?"
