LF Friends, Will Travel

Terrans and you: How to live and interact with the mad primates of Terra

Terrans and you: How to live and interact with the mad primates of Terra

An informational packet by the Terran Conclave diplomatic team, which is available at all Terran embassies. If you are to be interacting with Terrans it is suggested to read and understand this document in order to reduce potential issues.

Chapter 1: Introduction.

Terrans are not a special race. We don't exhibit anything outside the bounds of most species. We do not explode, we are not vengeful eldritch gods, and we are not super-strong killing machines; no matter what rumours may be flying around. Our most notable traits are our desire to try anything, and a tendency to over-exaggerate.

Terrans come in three varieties: Humans, the classic bipedal primate you should be aware of. Uplifts, who are a variety of Earth native pets who have been genetically uplifted to sapience. Finally, we have AI or our 'digital citizens'. It should be noted that all are considered equal citizens in the eyes of the Terran Conclave, and suggesting otherwise can cause great offence.

A note should be made regarding our AI citizens. We are fully aware of the incorrect theory that all AI will become genocidal. However, all Terran AI citizens are perfectly safe and should be considered just like any other person, unlimited in their movements and access. We solved this 'problem' by treating our AI friends with friendship and kindness. It is the official opinion of the Terran embassy that the fact that we are the only ones to have worked this out is 'concerning'.

Equally concerning is the laughable idea of "Deathworlds" or "Deathworlders" that certain species have. "Earth" (Or Terra, as everyone's home planet translates to 'Earth') is known by some classifications to be more dangerous than average, with more variable seasons being caused by a severe axial tilt, a more competitive biological environment than most, and a higher than average level of radiation. Some species and cultures place a special "mythos" on such a classification.

It is the opinion of the Terran Embassy that these definitions are... stupid; every non-native world is a deathworld to the wrong species.

However, this has caused a major issue surrounding various species believing Terrans to be 'indestructible'. This, in addition to a major push to ensure all Citizens on Terran Conclave planets have access to medical care within 5 minutes at all times, has created a situation where the risk assessment of dangers by both Terrans and non-Terrans has been skewed to more risky behaviours causing destruction and injury for both parties.

You can generally dissuade such actions through the implementation of 'negative action reinforcement procedures': Such as spraying the Terran with a spray bottle filled with water or hitting them lightly with a rolled-up newspaper while sternly saying the word 'No'. However, it is very important that non-Terrans don't 'egg on' this behaviour through the exploring of the sillier 'deathworlder' fantasies.

Yes, Terrans do eat some poisons for fun, however, there are plenty of ordinary galactic spices that are deadly for Terrans (Such as Arsenic). Daring or suggesting reckless actions for your Terran to take because 'You totally heard humans can do this' is a bad idea that can cause destruction to property, or the injury or even death of your Terran friend. Most stories you have heard, about the things Terrans have done, are generally 'exceptions' to the rule. Some Terrans have survived falling from great heights unaided. Most will not. Some people have survived grievous injuries, while others have died from simply falling over and bashing their heads on something. In general, if we have noted something down, that is because it is 'notable' and therefore not a standard occurrence.

Later chapters will go over how to deal with a Terran trying to do something stupid. If in doubt, contact the embassy and we will intervene if required.