Random Funny Things to say to your Friends

Car

So this literally just happened, so I'm riding in the car with my mom and my grumpy sister, and this old lady's driving in front of us. it was a 55 mile speed limit and she was going 40.

Mom: seriously this lady's going so slow that I'm about to run over her.

Me: yeah, I think a snail just passed us.
(About thirty seconds later)
Mom: ooh! She got to 45
Me: *looks at little meter thing that shows your speed* yup, I think we're catching up to that snail now.

(We drive into a neighborhood, the speed limit drops to 30)

Mom: she didn't even need to slow down.
Sister: and yet she did anyway
Me: there goes that snail again.

Mom: now she's speeding, were going 34
Me:OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH!!!!!
Sister:*face palm*
Mom:ok, now she's going over the line
(There was a double line in the middle of the road, which if you don't know, means that you can't cross over to the other side of the road)
Mom:ok, I'm about done with this lady.
Sister and me: yyyeeeeaaaaaahhhh...