Random Funny Things to say to your Friends

Protein

My sister my friend and I were eating lunch and my sister ate an entire can of peaches.
Friend: you need protein you know.
Me: yeah, *gets up and starts giggling*
Friend:why are you laughing?
Me: because, hahahahahaha.
Me:*grabs bag of nuts.*
Friend:*makes confused face*
Me: yeah ________ you need protein like.......

Me: DEEZ NUTS!!!!!!!
Friend: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: *throws nuts at sister*
Sister: ow.