On Death's Honor

Chapter 36: Ultimate Decisions

It felt like hours before the massive pain in my chest subsided, my body relaxing from the sudden lack of effort it took to breathe. The downside, however, was that I was back to being damn exhausted, as if I hadn't been already. The rain and wind stung my flesh like a swarm of angry bees, and my body shook from the icy temperatures desperate to tear apart any last warmth that remained.

Shivering, I pulled myself to my knees, examining the marks that dotted my arms - remnants from being held by thorny vines in the nymphtan's lair. How could everything have gone so wrong in so little time?

I climbed to my feet with a grimace, dazed and confused at the turmoil of emotion my mind couldn't quite shift through.

"Fuck," I swore, leaning against the wall behind me. I resisted the urge to look around the corner, where I knew I would see a lone, motionless figure hanging by wooden beams. The Circle would leave her up there until the night's end, her body exposed and feeding the deadly plant that grew within her-

I shook my head, scowling at the sudden tears that bit my eyes. Tired. You're just tired.

Tired of living, perhaps.

Groaning, I pushed myself from the wall, heading in the direction of Craen's house. I wasn't at all in the mood to converse with my fellow peers and higher-ups, but if I didn't go now, they would simply bombard me once I found the time to rest. Might as well get it done and over with.

At some point between the city buildings and Craen's house, Bogdan appeared next me, still as solid as he had been over the past few days. No, was it a week, now? Two? How much time had passed between my near-confrontation with Rhoe, when Orik successfully used auzir in front of me the first time?

"Go away," I mumbled. If I'd had the strength, I would have swung my sword at him, lesson from days earlier be damned. Did Mutnya's necklace protect Bogdan from death, too, or just me? Could I kill him and be just fine, myself?

No, no, he risked himself fighting Rhoe for you.

Well, the bastard also had me lined up to do an execution.

The rain slowed back down to a drizzle. Bogdan decided to ignore my demand.

"It looks like some of your humanity's returned," he remarked curtly. I curled my fingers around the hilt of my sword. Maybe, if I dug down deep enough, I'd find a last-minute surge of energy to lop his head from his shoulders.

Or at least lodge a gash between the neck and shoulder. Removing heads from bodies wasn't as easy as people made it out to be. I'd never seen Bogdan bleed, but if he kept pushing-

"Songbird." A simple word, uttered in pure certainty. It shouldn't have had much power behind, yet it was enough for my breath to catch in the back of my throat.

"Stop calling me that," I snapped, refusing to face him.

"I think it's fitting," he responded, just as cold and frank. "A play about a bird with broken wings, unable to fly, so to survive on land, she learns to sing. Sounds a lot like you."

"I know what the play's about," I interrupted.

"Do you?" The spirit mocked, and from the slightly maddened haze in his voice, I was reminded that while he certainly had his sane moments, he wasn't at all stable minded. I sighed.

"I'm not in the mood for this," I mumbled, unsure if I wanted Bogdan to hear or not. Why was he bringing the play up now, of all times?

"Tell me, then, why it doesn't fit," he demanded.

"I am not fighting you, Bogdan."

"But you want to, don't you?"

It was beginning to look like this was a conversation I wasn't going to be able to avoid. I felt his cold presence behind me, sending an unnatural chill up my back.