On Death's Honor

Chapter 42: The Beginning of the End

Erlan had never before felt so numb.

So . . . Tired. Scared. Terrified.

On one hand, she had monsters tearing people apart flooding her dreams. On the other, she watched people die while she was awake. Travelling from village to village through the rocky stretch of mountains, investigating cases Frenza thought they could take on. Barely four weeks had passed since the incident with the woman and the jefna. All she wanted to do was sleep, but she couldn't for the life of her figure out how to ignore the unseen terror enfolding itself around her mind.

Not while keeping the conflict hidden from prying eyes.

Frenza knew. Or at least she suspected. Erlan was set to take her oath in a matter of weeks, so the challenges and trials were becoming harder and harder. Her mentor went from questions and quizzes to facing the plethora of nightmares that surrounded them all. How could Erlan have been so blind? She spent her childhood studying these things, yet very few times did she ever notice real life cases.

It was draining.

I just need to hold on for a little while more.

She sat on a rocky patch overlooking her village, now almost big enough to become a small town. The sun hit her neck like a friend trying to comfort her, but all Erlan could focus on was the potential creature or spirit waiting to catch her off guard. Hida was down there, ready to give birth to her first child. A part of Erlan wanted to help with the delivery, but as the girl just finished hunting down yet another demonic spirit that fed exclusively on pregnant women, she couldn't bring herself to look her sister in the eye.

So she watched from above for any sign of trouble, not quite trusting that today would be a normal day.

"You're doing this on purpose," she accused suddenly. "Aren't you?"

Behind her, Frenza sighed.

"I would rather you go through this now, instead of when you are on your own-"

"Bullshit," the girl hissed, digging her fingers into the rock below her. "You never wanted me to join."

"You're young, Erlan. This is normal."

"Then why now? Why have we been hunting the most vile of things now, right before my five years are over?"

"Because this is not a job for the faint of heart," Frenza snipped, her voice as cold and brisk as the rock Erlan sat on. The girl stammered to her feet, whipping around on the white-cloaked woman with tears in her eyes and fists at her sides.

"I wanted to help people," she exclaimed. "To - to educate them on things-"

"And you think," the runkist cut her off, taking a step towards her apprentice. "That you can do that without experience? Do you truly believe you'll be able to accurately depict the horrors to the ignorant if you are just as inexperienced as them?"

Erlan opened her mouth to object, to snap or cry or insult - or something, anything, but nothing came but a choked sob. She clamped her teeth, shook her head, and made due with crossing her arms over her chest.

"I can't get them out of my head, Frenza," she finally whispered, very much the meek, fragile girl her sister believed her to be. "I can't get any of them out of my head. Some of them died because of me - were in excruciating pain . . . Because of me."

There was a minute of thick, heavy silence.

"Are you done?" Frenza asked, not at all wavered from Erlan's confession. No, if anything, she was angry.